It’s My Blog And I’ll Whine If I Want To

Being a grown-up is so overrated. I want no part of it. If my name’s on some grown-up list, please kindly cross it off. Because ugh. I’m being a big baby, I KNOW. But do you know how hard it is to go back to work after being unemployed for 8 months? Do you? I knew it would be hard to go back, but AHHHHH, it’s actually harder. Remind me to never get laid off and stay laid off for that long. It’s not worth it. I hate waking up full of dread for the 8 hours that await me. I hate driving to the office, being in the office, dressing for the office. I hate everything except for my paycheck. I guess it’s not really the office that I hate. I hate that I’m forced to hate Mondays again. Come to think of it, I hate Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays too. Saturdays are nice, but I kind of have to hate Sundays too because they lead to Mondays. Do you see what’s happening here? 6 out of 7 days are full of HATRED. That’s no way to live, people. We should demand a refund.

While some of you may think I’m just a lazy fart or an ungrateful bitch, please know I am neither of those things. I’m just a big whiny baby. You don’t understand though…my whole being is in shock. I felt so much joy every morning, waking up and knowing I had absolutely nowhere to be. It was a beautiful thing until reality stuck it’s huge nose into my business and demanded that I rejoin the real world. And just like that, my days of uselessness relaxation were stolen from me with no prior warning. I’m sure I’ll manage to readjust to this insane schedule of working Monday through Friday, but until then, I shall remain a big whiny baby.

Anyway, at least I survived my first week back. I felt like I was in the twilight zone at first, but after a while, everything felt fairly normal. (It’s weird going back to a job that you were laid off from when you already made peace with the fact that you’d never be back again.) Unfortunately, what I’m doing now is nothing like what I used to do, and that makes me very uncomfortable. I hate not knowing what I’m doing. I always want to do an awesome job. I worry too much about messing something up. I also have a fear of phones, and this job requires making many phone calls. Once I get into the flow of things, I’ll probably wonder what I was so worried about. But for now, I can’t help feeling anxious every time I sit at my desk. Stupid nerves. It’s bad enough I have to drag myself out of bed and into the office every day…do I really need stupid nerves on top of that? *Sigh* I think you’ve had enough of my bitching negativity, so I’ll end on a positive note…………bye!

~Lily~

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26 thoughts on “It’s My Blog And I’ll Whine If I Want To

  1. Sound like your in dire need of a twelve step program to help you work through your withdrawal. Now that you’ve recognized your problem, your well on the way to recovery. LOL

  2. Work sucks. Working in an office sucks. If being a garbage man paid more, I’d go for it. At least you are DOING something. Moving, being productive, changing the world. I cringe everytime it’s someone’s birthday/retirement and we’re forced to awkwardly stand around and eat cake and stare at each other. I want to stab someone everytime they talk about their pets. I’ve come to the conclusion that writers at heart are not meant to be office workers. It’s too rigid. We need freedom.

    Can you tell I’m writing this at work?

    1. No way, had no idea you were writing that from work! Lol. Looks like we both have some hatred issues when it comes to the office. Ugh ugh and ugh! You know, being a garbage man pays pretty well, if you’re the one driving the smelly truck. I don’t know if it’s worth it but at least you get to be alone all day. 🙂 Definitely agree that writers need freedom. (Idk if I’m much of a writer, but I like freedom, so let’s just say I am.) 😀

  3. This is exactly why I’ve told myself even before I left school that I had to eventually work at a job I actually LIKED. Otherwise it’s just sheer torture. Trust me, I had a few existential crisis moments when I first started working (this might be my life for…well, the rest of my life!! what??!). Things do settle down obviously but seriously, you don’t realize how good being a student is until you’re not anymore.

    1. Definitely torture if you hate what you’re doing. It’s so nice being a kid, isn’t it? When the worst we have to do is homework. Homework beats working every day. But I do want to point out that my job’s not so bad. I just needed to vent, mostly because I got so UN-used to working, that I feel like I can’t handle being back now, lol. Oh well. That’s life.

  4. It’s a shock to the system after those muscles have atrophied and are burning at being used again. You’re practically a born again work virgin! With time and dedication, it will get easier. (unfortunately.)

  5. I really enjoyed reading about your feelings on “rejoining the real world” haha i laughed from beginning to end. UNTIL… I realized some day I’m going to end up in the real world too and that’s enough to cause me dread. I’m still in college and I spent almost 12 years studying and trying to hide from teachers who tries to humiliate you every chance they get and after that, I’m going to spend the rest of my lifetime working my ass off to survive and risk myself from humiliation (AGAIN) in getting your job right. I CLEARLY DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS.

    I’m being a big whiny baby, aren’t I? 😀 Anyway, just keep you head up and try to enjoy the moment. I know it might be next to impossible, but everything’s possible. Aaaandd don’t stress out too much. 🙂

    1. I feel your pain! So many years in school and then the rest of your life working to survive. It’s not fun! And hey, we’re allowed to be big whiny babies from time to time. 😉 Reality kind of stinks sometimes.
      Anyway, thank you! I’ll try to be more positive. 😉

  6. It takes about 3 months before the work starts to ‘click’, Lily. Then you kind of understand what you’re doing 😉

    Just think of what you’re going to do with that money you’re earning and plan your next vacation. That’ll keep you inspired 😀

    1. Yup! Well, I actually feel a little better than when I wrote this post, lol. Every day gets a little easier, though I will forever hate having to wake up every morning.
      I know money is not the most important thing in the world (right? lol) but in this case, that’s definitely what keeps me motivated to stick to it! 😀

  7. Yep…being a grown up sucks….picture me crying…I wanna be baby…I wanna be a toddler…nah…a baby…sleep, eat, poop…repeat…now that’s the life 🙂

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