Hello there, old friend. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed the me who I was when I was with you. Life has changed a lot in the last 5 or 6 years. Some days I feel a bit lost. Some days I miss the joy I used to get out of writing, whether that be poetry or random blog posts. That connection that used to exist, albeit with online strangers. It was nice, it provided a temporary purpose.
Don’t get me wrong, my life has purpose of course. I have a good job, a beautiful 6-year old daughter, a house, the love of my wonderful family. I am fortunate, I can’t deny that. But I believe I was drawn back to these keys, to this screen, because I’ve felt somewhat empty. Like, it’s not enough. Maybe it’s something about being in my 30’s. I’ve learned more about myself, have seen how differently I feel about things now compared to when I was 20. Is it wise for people to make all these important life decisions in your 20s? Work, marriage, kids. Do you even know yourself well enough at that point? I’m starting to think not.
Anyway, this isn’t a woe-is-me post. This is me talking to myself (because who’s going to see this) in the hopes that if I just dip my toe in now, maybe I’ll keep coming back to this. Maybe I can rebuild what this was, or at least find that part of myself that I’ve missed. Fill a void. That’s the hope, but time will tell.