Man vs Dog

Man: Hey there, bud. How’s it hanging?

Dog: Hanging a little low, but I’m alright. You?

Man: Whoa…whoa! Did you just talk?

Dog: Did you just ask me a question?

Man: Um, yes…

Dog: Well, I answered it.

Man: But you’re a dog!

Dog: Yeah, and you’re a human. Great, glad we got that sorted out.

Man: This is just too cool!

Dog: Woof

Man: Meow?

Dog: And they say we’re dumb.

Man: Well, that’s not nice.

Dog: Don’t you want us to be honest and loyal?

Man: I guess so. Anyway, tell me something!

Dog: I’m hungry.

Man: Yeah! Tell me something else!

Dog: Listen jackass, I’m HUNGRY. Unfortunately, my superior intelligence doesn’t change the fact that I have 4 paws and no opposable thumbs. FEED ME.

Man: Oh right! In a minute. You just don’t know how cool this is!

Dog: Right…

Man: Man, I’m gonna be rich!

Dog: Sure you will, right after I win the gold medal.

Man: I just have to work on your attitude.

Dog: No one’s gonna believe you.

Man: Why wouldn’t they?

Dog: Because you’re a crazy person.

Man: Oh, really? Says the DOG who chases his tail and licks himself in the most inappropriate way!

Dog: Says the HUMAN who’s arguing with A DOG.

Man: Haha! Woman, you have to come see this!

Dog: Loser.

Woman: What’s going on?

Man: Listen, just listen!

Dog: Woof

Woman: Okay, he does that ALL the time.

Man: I swear, he talks! He told me he’s hungry! And he called me a loser!

Dog: Woof woof

Woman: *walks away and mutters under her breath* Idiot, I could have told you you’re a loser.

Man: Why’d you do that? Now she’ll never believe me!

Dog: That’s not my problem. I’m hungry.

Man: Oh, bite me.

Dog: Alright, if you insist…

© Lily

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12 thoughts on “Man vs Dog

  1. I’m assuming the painting is your own work. If so, it’s awesome. And this conversation reminds me of that one scene in Shrek where this old lady is trying to make Donkey talk so she can get money. Sorry, got sidetracked there.

    1. Yup, I drew it on the paint program. That was the most challenging part for me, lol. Thank you! Oh yeah, it kinda is like that scene. Didn’t mean for it to be though. Good movie. 😉

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