Man: Hey there, bud. How’s it hanging?
Dog: Hanging a little low, but I’m alright. You?
Man: Whoa…whoa! Did you just talk?
Dog: Did you just ask me a question?
Man: Um, yes…
Dog: Well, I answered it.
Man: But you’re a dog!
Dog: Yeah, and you’re a human. Great, glad we got that sorted out.
Man: This is just too cool!
Dog: And they say we’re dumb.
Man: Well, that’s not nice.
Dog: Don’t you want us to be honest and loyal?
Man: I guess so. Anyway, tell me something!
Dog: I’m hungry.
Man: Yeah! Tell me something else!
Dog: Listen jackass, I’m HUNGRY. Unfortunately, my superior intelligence doesn’t change the fact that I have 4 paws and no opposable thumbs. FEED ME.
Man: Oh right! In a minute. You just don’t know how cool this is!
Man: Man, I’m gonna be rich!
Dog: Sure you will, right after I win the gold medal.
Man: I just have to work on your attitude.
Dog: No one’s gonna believe you.
Man: Why wouldn’t they?
Dog: Because you’re a crazy person.
Man: Oh, really? Says the DOG who chases his tail and licks himself in the most inappropriate way!
Dog: Says the HUMAN who’s arguing with A DOG.
Man: Haha! Woman, you have to come see this!
Woman: What’s going on?
Man: Listen, just listen!
Woman: Okay, he does that ALL the time.
Man: I swear, he talks! He told me he’s hungry! And he called me a loser!
Dog: Woof woof
Woman: *walks away and mutters under her breath* Idiot, I could have told you you’re a loser.
Man: Why’d you do that? Now she’ll never believe me!
Dog: That’s not my problem. I’m hungry.
Man: Oh, bite me.
Dog: Alright, if you insist…