Am I the only one who finds the Snuggle Bear (Snuggle Fabric Softener) extremely creepy? I love stuffed animals. But this guy is not cute. First off, he doesn’t blink…at all! He just stares at you in that “psycho-just-escaped-from-a-mental-institution” kind of way. And in the commercials his eyes look red…evil red. And his creepy voice, it’s like a “I’m-advertising-this-product-in-an-attempt-to-distract-you-from-the-fact-that-I’m-secretly-stalking-you-because-my-friend-Chucky-asked-me-to” kind of thing. Oh yeah…Snuggle is related to Chucky, if you didn’t know.
Well, now that you all think I’m crazy, hello there! I thought I’d do something different today and just talk. Don’t worry, this won’t happen too often. I just like to switch it up sometimes. Post something funny, post some poems, then bore the crap out of you. Besides, it’s Monday…who has high expectations on a Monday? You know, when you’re unemployed, you start to like Mondays again. Because Monday feels like Tuesday feels like Wednesday feels like Thursday feels like Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It’s really hard and kind of pointless keeping track of the days. Little disclaimer, I’m not unemployed because I’m lazy, okay? It wasn’t a choice. But yes, it’s quite nice.
So, the other day I couldn’t get to sleep because I kept thinking…about blogging. It never fails, I always get ideas either in the shower or in bed. In the shower is a major problem due to lack of writing material. So I usually try to repeat the thought in my head. “Great idea, great idea, great idea…don’t forget it, great idea, great idea…” But then I turn off the water and my thoughts go down the drain. In bed, I COULD technically grab something to write with, but I’m usually too lazy/tired to do so. Plus, I find that when I write down my thoughts, I try to do so in as few words as possible. So the next day, I read my thoughts and they make no sense! Does that ever happen to you?
My biggest problem is that not only do I think of things to write about, I also draft the whole damn post IN my head. It’s REALLY STUPID to write in your head, because you will never EVER remember exactly what you said or how you said it…ever! I scold myself in my head too. “Stop think-writing! No one else can read what it’s in your head! You’re just wasting your time! There are no LIKE buttons here!” But it’s kind of like when you’re trying to fall asleep with a million thoughts going through your head. You tell your brain to shut up and let you sleep but it just won’t stop. So yeah, I can’t stop blogging in my head. It sucks because I can be pretty damn hilarious in my head…but you’ll never know it. So every time you read a post and think it sucks, just remember, it was AWESOME in my head. Oh well…until next time. I promise the next one will be better (but I can’t guarantee it).