Hello, if anyone’s even out there… I haven’t posted in MONTHS. Kind of sad, but not really. I thought I’d share one of my old posts again. Why? I don’t know, because I can? If no one reads it, then perhaps I was meant to not post anything all these months. Who knows…
Never, under any circumstances, wear sandals when you’re hiking. Did you know that? Oh, you did? Well, so did I. I just needed to confirm it, that’s all. Kind of like I needed to confirm that our apartment building was strong enough, so I took my car and crashed into it. The apartment held up just fine. Building strength confirmed. (Um, I really did crash into a brick wall, if you don’t believe me.)
Right, back to the “hiking.” (I use that word loosely.) My parents were babysitting two of my little cousins for two days. One day we’d focus on cousin number 1, and the second day on cousin number 2. I kid you. On Monday, we went to a park, complete with two play areas. Monkey bars, slides, drawbridge thing, random crap you climb up. Everything except swings. I know, I was highly disappointed too. I sucked it up and pulled through anyway. You’re never too old to jump up and down on the drawbridge thing or go down a slide or two. (I’m also secretly proud of the fact that I was also able to go UP the slide. Total pro.) At some point, I became the monster. There was no explanation, no talk of game rules or characters, nothing. I was just chosen to be the monster, and when the kids started running away from me, I figured they were being serious. So I went with it and it was fun.
On Tuesday, mom announced that they were going to the park around the same time as the previous day, so I decided to tag along. I stupidly assumed it would be the same park, but duh, that would be boring. Who does that? So whatever, I had sandals on, because sandals are totally fine when you’re going up/down a slide. Not so much when you go to a park that involves nature…and nature involves trails…and trails involve gravel roads…and gravel roads involve tree roots…and tree roots involve tripping and falling on your arse. (If you say arse, it’s not cursing.)
I hate sneakers (because they make my feet look big and because they’re just not cute), but at that moment, I would have given anything for my sneakers to just magically appear. I waited, I prayed, I cursed…alas, they never materialized. We started up the trail. I know, UP…you know what that means? It means that in order to get back, I’d have to go DOWN…in sandals…over ROCKS…great. What the hell did I get myself into? These rocks were full of creepy red spiders on high-speed stilts…LOTS of spiders. Yuck.
If you haven’t rolled your eyes yet, go ahead, roll them. Get it out of your system. But really, my life is so dull, what did you expect? We finally stopped and turned around. I know it seems overly dramatic but I was truly worried about this moment. I took the tiniest steps anyone could possibly take. I put all my weight into my ankles and feet, pretending they were claws that could stick to the ground. And I held onto my mom’s arm for dear life. I didn’t think it was possible to go DOWNHILL so slowly but it is. Despite all these precautions, I felt gravity start to do its work. One stupid red spider, one stupid sandal-wearing idiot, and down I went, taking my poor mom with me. Sorry mom. Actually…that’s kinda-sorta, absolutely, not in the least bit true. We all made it down safely. I’m so ashamed…how incredibly lame of me to NOT get injured. But if it counts for anything, it was fun (the kids caught a frog) and I’m now 100% sure that you are not supposed to wear sandals to a park.
Anyway, in my last post I promised my next post would be better. I lied. Please don’t unfollow me. So, hold your breath for next time!
There, I’ve read it all and liked it again. I think it’s time for you to get back on the horse beause I miss reading your stuff.
Aw, thanks! You’re probably one of a very few. It was nice back in the day, when I was inspired to write randomness. I will make an effort to get back to it. 🙂
Lilianita!! So good to see you. This is hilarious!! “full of creepy red spiders on high-speed stilts” – I laughed so hard! I’m with you girl! 🙂
Those spiders had the longest, weirdest legs! Haha. Thanks, I haven’t been around much but maybe I’ll get back into it. 😉
Is it bad that I can’t seem to remember reading this post the first time around? (Unless we weren’t blogging friends yet at the time of posting but I kind of doubt it since it’s been a while…) Anywho, I’m still really glad you showed up in my inbox because seriously, the number of blogging friends I still have is going down by the day. Hope you’re keeping well, even if you haven’t been feeling inspired to write.
No, not bad at all! It was an early post, I don’t know if I even knew you then. 😉 I know it’s not just me who’s gone missing around here. I haven’t been reading or writing much. Amazing, because at one point I was obsessed with this place! But anyway. All is well, hope you’re doing well too!
Come back!!! 🙂
Thanks! I’ll try.
yeah yeah yeah… I’m still here.
Glad you’re still breathing.
Thanks, glad you’re alive too. 😉
I have been looking for you. Loved this again and can’t wait for you to get back on the horse.
Aw thanks! I will put some effort into getting back into it. Has been a WHILE.