Rules (And Taxes) Can Bite Me

How does a person become the rule maker? Because I want to be that person. Current rule makers are busy making rules that are retarded as fuck only serve to annoy people and make them do more work than necessary. Renewing your license, for example. Why must we fill out that stupid form (every time!) and bring 6-points worth of documents with us? It’s not like those documents actually prove that we know how to drive. (Yeah, because my being born really proves that I’m a responsible driver.) Then when you complain, all you hear is, “Sorry, but those are the rules…” That’s  the worst excuse in the world. Somebody MADE UP those rules, and they could easily unmake them if they weren’t such a giant butt-hole.

Buying a house is a great example of how much rules suck. Now that we’re considering buying a house, (because paying rent is the equivalent to throwing your money out the window on a windy day) we’re realizing just how annoying all these rules are. Why can’t you just find a house, make an offer, mortgage approved, sign, and be done with it? That’s complicated enough without all the back and forth, figuring out your budget, attorney/Realtor costs, inspection/appraisal costs, closing cost, other costs that they sneak in there, plus making sure the house has all the necessary C.O.’s. What the fuck? I thought there was only one C.O. Now I find out that if you finish a basement, you need a permit. If you add a garage or extend the bedroom or add a fucking window, there’s a permit for that shit too.

Why do you need permission to make a house better? Oh right, because even if you pay it off, the damn thing is never yours. You’ll pay taxes for the rest of your life, which is basically just a slightly lower mortgage. Why are we forced to pay taxes? Is it because those are the rules? You must pay taxes until you die. But only because they haven’t figured out a way to charge taxes on the other side. Do you realize that with cars and homes, we pay more in taxes than the car or house is worth? If the land is just sitting there NOT doing anything, why do we need to pay $5,000 – $20,000 for the grass that just happens to sit around the house? Because the money funds the schools? FIND ANOTHER WAY TO PAY FOR SCHOOLS!

This post was only supposed to be about how much rules suck, but then I realized that taxes suck even harder. And not winning the lottery sucks the most. Because if you win the lottery, you don’t have to worry about how much to put down while still leaving enough money for attorney/Realtor/closing costs, AND leaving enough for house repairs and/or an emergencies. Not to say that money fixes everything, but…yeah, it kinda does. So fuck.

~Lily~

Letters And Army Life

My brother has been away from home for a month now. I can’t believe how quickly the first month went. (If you didn’t read my last post on the subject, my brother has recently joined the Army.) Honestly, it didn’t seem real until I saw a picture of him in uniform. That’s when I was like, “Holy crap, he’s in the Army!” We were able to touch base with him the first week, but not anymore, since they all lose their phones once training officially starts. Hopefully he’ll get his phone back in a few weeks. My parents were in Puerto Rico last week to see my grandpa, who hasn’t been doing well, and when they came back, they were surprised to see two letters from my brother. My brother isn’t the most talkative person, hence the surprise. Since we weren’t able to contact him, my brother had no idea that my parents were away. He was probably wondering what was wrong with us, why we had yet to reply to his letters. Then today, my parents received a third letter. In this letter, it was obvious that my brother was wondering what was going on.

“I’m just writing to update you two, keep myself busy, and honestly because I miss home. I don’t know if you have sent any letters yet, but I still haven’t received a single piece of mail from anyone I mailed. It kind of sucks because everyone else has received between two and twenty letters already…”

The poor kid sees that everyone else has been getting letters, yet he hasn’t received a single one. It makes me so sad to think that he feels like no one cares enough to write. My parents mailed their first reply on Saturday, but since the Post Office was closed on Monday, it probably won’t arrive until today. At least, I hope it arrives today so it can lift his spirits. I also wrote him a letter, so hopefully he’ll get that soon. I know he’s feeling alone, especially in such a difficult environment. I can’t even imagine some of the things that they have to do during training. It’s exhausting both mentally and physically. I just hope that he stays positive and remembers that we all love and support him. Recently, we celebrated Memorial Day, which honors all those who died to serve our country. We should also remember to honor those who are in the beginning stages of this difficult journey, those who’ve been serving for years, those who’ve retired, as well as those who’ve lost their lives. Regardless of how I feel about war, I can’t deny that the men and women serving our country are making a huge sacrifice that some of us can’t even fathom. Even if a soldier is never called to war, every part of their journey is important, and their dedication deserves to be recognized. What these people are doing is both courageous and admirable.

Anyway, I’m not sure why, but I just wanted to share that. I don’t know how my brother would feel about being mentioned on my blog, but it’s not like I said anything embarrassing. Here’s hoping our letters make it to him soon, and that he realizes he is not alone. His graduation will be in July, so we’re all going to try to go. It’s in Oklahoma, which scares me a bit, but I think it’d be great for him to see us all there. Then after that, he’s off to Texas for his second training on being a health care specialist. That training should go more smoothly, I would think. They’ll probably be just as strict though. Everything requires so much discipline, you can’t even poop when you want to. I said “poop” on my blog. Way to make a serious post less serious. I believe that’s my cue to end this post. I hope you’re all having a great week so far. Is it Friday yet?

~Lily~

My little brother…all grown up.

Things I Can’t Stand – Part 2

NEW YORK TOLLS

I understand, to a certain extent, that tolls are necessary. I do not understand, however, why in God’s name New York thinks they can charge whatever the fuck they want to. Okay, so New York’s an expensive place to live, and I’m sure they need money to fix the roads that see so much crime traffic every day. But what the hell? How can most tolls be $1 everywhere else, yet it costs me $28 round-trip to get into Long Island. (We have to go through 3 tolls round-trip.) Long Island is an hour away, not ten hours. $28 fucking dollars? I could probably drive from Jersey to California and pay less than that. Do you know how many people travel to and from New York EVERY day? Let’s say there are 100,000 people traveling to/from Long Island every day…at $28 a person, that would be $2,800,000. That’s two million, eight hundred thousand dollars. Have you seen the roads in New York? Have you seen all the construction that never seems to end and never seems to actually help? What the hell are these people doing with the (roughly) $2,800,000 they get daily? Want to know what I’d do with $2,800,000? I would sue New York hurry up and fix the fucking roads so that people could have a pleasant driving experience! And if their excuse is that there’s no time to fix the roads, that’s bullshit. You make the sacrifice and you work from 10pm – 6am, one lane at a time, so as to not have to close down the whole road and cause more angry drivers traffic. You don’t set up cones and leave them there, and never actually do the work you lazy fart. Why is everyone okay with paying so much money in tolls? How is this even allowed? I should boycott these outrageous tolls. But since I can’t, I’ll just rant on my blog and feel better about it. Yup. K…bye.

~Lily~

P.S. I’m sorry if cursing bothers you, but I feel like you can’t have a rant without a few f-bombs.

Let Me Go Back

Let me go back to when stars would shine
Their twinkle would reflect in my eyes
And bring about a smile to my face
Taking me back to a different place

Let me go back to when things made sense
Before my smile became just a pretense
Before I was smothered by this mask I wear
Back to when hearts could never tear

Take me back, I can’t stay here any longer
Take me back to when I felt so much stronger
Let me go back to when things felt right
When the sun would shine all day, and hide at night

Back to when happiness meant something to me
Let me go back to when I used to believe

© Lily

Although this poem was not written about 9/11, I feel like parts of it are fitting. “Back to when I used to believe.” Back to when this world didn’t seem like such a cruel place. To all those who lost their lives, and to the family and friends who were left behind to grieve, my thoughts and prayers are with you. To those who caused this unnecessary and unforgivable tragedy, may you never be at peace again.

At Last, They Were Silent

She holds a gun to her head
As the world stands witness
She wipes the sweat off her brow
As the world goes on laughing
She wouldn’t dare, they say
Her determination heightens
All it took was a simple push
And at last…they were silent

© Lillian F

I wrote this poem a while ago, based on a story I had heard about bullying. It’s so sad how often victims of bullying resort to suicide. Bullying is a huge problem in this country, but it seems that people aren’t always willing to address it. I wonder if the parents of bullies are teaching their kids that they’re better than everyone else. I wonder if bullies are abused at home, and therefore feel they have the right to abuse others. I wonder if the parents of the victims aren’t around to notice the signs, or are too scared to talk to their kids. I wonder if schools prefer to ignore the problem, thinking that it will eventually just go away. I don’t know, but this post is a bit serious for a Monday, so I’ll stop here. I’m 90% sure my next post will be less serious.

“Some people won’t be happy until they’ve pushed you to the ground. What you have to do is have the courage to stand your ground and not give them the time of day. Hold on to your power and never give it away.” ― Donna Schoenrock

Aren’t You Tired Yet?

Can you hear the children crying?
All around you are the echoes
of their solitude and despair;
innocence is dying.

Can you hear the sirens wailing?
All around you, gun shots flailing.
And while you’re safe in your bed,
someone else’s heart is failing.

Can you see the light is dimming?
All the innocence is fading.
As we drift further from ourselves,
we come closer to our ending.

Aren’t you tired of living in fear?
Don’t you dream of something better?
Aren’t you tired of living in hate?
Don’t you wish for understanding?

We judge those we don’t understand.
We condemn those who are different.
And yet, we all claim to want
a world of peace and justice.

Aren’t you tired of the hypocrisy?
Aren’t you tired of the senseless hate?
Have we learned nothing from our mistakes?
So many years living this way.
Aren’t you tired yet?

© Lily 11/21/2008

{I was looking through some of my old poems and found this one. Although it was written years ago, I felt it was fitting with the recent tragedy in Colorado. My heart goes out to the victims and family members of that tragedy and every other similar tragedy. God knows these terrible things happen way too often.}

One Text, One Life

One decision, seemingly harmless, can change your life forever. Much like drinking, texting and driving don’t really get along all that well. (I know, hard to believe.) It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, YOU ARE NOT SO IMPORTANT that you can’t wait until you’ve stopped driving to send a text. Is the world going to end if you don’t reply to a text right away? Do you think your friend will assume you’re dead if they don’t hear from you for 10 minutes? Well, you could be dead as you type away on your not-so-smart-phone, miss the red light and rear-end the car in front of you, pushing both cars into a busy intersection. Or, even more probable, you could come out of the accident completely unscathed, while the person in the other car is not so lucky.

Now you have to live with the guilt of having killed a fellow human being…somebody’s relative, somebody’s partner, somebody’s friend. You’ll probably spend a few years in jail, but no amount of time in prison could ever bring back the person YOU killed due to your recklessness. No amount of counseling could ever rid you of the memory of that person’s lifeless body being dragged out of the wreckage, or the sound of the wailing sirens signaling that help has arrived much too late.

Every time you get back into the driver’s seat, or hear the sound of an incoming text, you’ll remember. Was it worth it? Did that three worded text change the life of the person you sent it to, like it changed yours?  Irrevocably so. It must be hard facing your best friend, knowing that your carelessness resulted in the tragic death of their spouse. And even if your friends and family don’t accuse you, because after all, you didn’t commit premeditated murder, living with a heavy conscience is punishment enough.

In time, people on the street will no longer remember you as the person whose texting resulted in somebody’s death. Too bad the memory will haunt you forever. Too bad the victim’s family will never forget. Too bad time doesn’t heal all wounds.

~Lily~

*This is why I don’t like watching the news. You hear stories about crimes and accidents every day. It just amazes me how many accidents could be avoided if people just stopped to think first. There are already so many natural ways to die for us to be adding negligence and stupidity to that list. Anyway…I’ll try to post something less serious next time.*

Cost Of Living

“Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?”

Well, today I feel like ranting/rambling a little. Sometimes, you find yourself in the mood to bitch about something! Now, I can’t speak about the whole country, but coming from the oh-so-expensive state of New Jersey, HOLY COW! How are people supposed to live the American Dream when anyone not considered “upper class” typically has to work 40+ hours a week, most likely at a job they detest, with very little to show for it? Oh wait, I know, we just need to re-define the American Dream: Consists of working like a slave roughly between the ages of 18 and 65 (your WHOLE life) so you can eventually do the following: purchase a house that’s never really yours, pay taxes on said house until the end of time, be in debt, provide for your kids until or throughout their adulthood, provide them with an education that eventually leaves THEM in debt, and pray that they find a job so that they TOO can work their asses off to pay their bills, and never be able to just enjoy a carefree life. 

Caroline: We can’t turn into those people who work and work just to pay their bills and don’t have any time to pursue their dreams.

Max: You mean Americans?

I’m not bitter. (Haha) It just amazes me how unfair things are sometimes. Obviously there are jobs that pay well, and jobs that pay very lousy. But no matter which category your job falls in…who enjoys, or is comfortable, paying $1,000/month in rent…for a one bedroom apartment that will never be yours! Obviously, renting has its perks. Right now the only one I can think of is not being responsible for maintenance/repairs. But aside from that, how is it feasible to think that anyone can pay that much money (plus food/bills) and still be able to save for the future? And then you have a house that you end up paying more for in the end than it’s worth, or you never end up paying it off. And you have even more bills and taxes, and more responsibilities than before.

And to make matters worse, you work SO hard every day, every week…only to have a chunk of that hard-earned money sent directly to the government’s pocket. Now, I’m not saying I don’t understand the need for taxes. But considering we hardly see that money put to use, and considering the cost of living, talk about a slap in the face. If you’re a millionaire, lucky you. But for those of us in the middle (or lower) class; it’s like they don’t even consider how expensive it is…to live! And then you get a raise, and you can hardly enjoy it because that puts you into a higher tax bracket. AND Gosh forbid you worked  hard enough to have earned a bonus…only to have to pay double or triple the amount of taxes on that check! REALLY? You can’t even fricking fully earn your own bonus? I don’t know, it’s just hard to be excited about working when you do so just to pay someone or something else.

I’m not saying living here is impossible. I’m just saying that the balance is a little off. And I know things could always be worse…but they could also be better. When they do polls of the happiest countries, guess who’s NOT on that list. I guess it just amazes me how many people dream of coming here, that this place is made to look like something out of a fairytale. Yeah…if only a happy ending was always guaranteed.

~Lily~