A Piece Of Me

Hello, world. Or, hello to the three of you. I thought it was time for a quick update. 1 out of 3 of you may recall that I was pregnant last time I posted. Guess what? Not anymore! Little Sofia was born on Friday, July 31st at 11:27 am. She weighed 8.5 pounds, and measured 20.75 inches long. Beautiful and healthy, with a head FULL of dark hair. She was bigger than anyone expected. I was all belly, and everyone swore I’d have a 6 or 7 pounder. BUT NOPE! She surprised us all. My husband says she came out with her arm sticking out, like making a fist. Almost as if she was saying, “Woohoo, I did it!” Yeah, she did feel a little funny on the way out, so that explains it. I was so busy trying to catch my breath, that it took me a few minutes before I thought to ask, “Wait, is she still a girl?” Haha.

All things considered, I had a pretty good birth experience. I was told I pushed for 45 minutes or so, no more than an hour. I was TOLD this, because I seriously do NOT remember. When you’re in that much pain, you have no concept of time. I mean, it obviously felt like forever in the moment. I had contractions all day Thursday, but they became really intense around midnight/early Friday. Oddly enough, I was very calm that whole day with contractions. It’s like I still couldn’t believe that I would actually be giving birth soon. Even when I made it to the hospital, it felt unreal. My whole pregnancy felt that way though.

I have a high tolerance for pain but WOW… Words cannot describe that kind of pain. They should come up with a new word for contractions, because that one just doesn’t do it justice. At one point I even begged for them to cut me open to get her out, haha. I was not eligible for an epidural due to low blood platelets. Would have been too risky. I thought my face might explode from pushing, not to mention my lungs. Pushing is hard, people. I felt out of breath for a week or two afterwards.

Almost immediately after giving birth though, it’s almost like it never even happened. All of a sudden, there’s a tiny human on your chest, and you wonder, “What do I do now? Did the doctor leave the manual somewhere?” I never imagined how stressful and overwhelming life as a mom would be. BUT every day gets a little easier. Everyone kept telling me that, but those first couple of weeks, you find it hard to believe. I cried a lot. But as hard as it is to be a sleep-deprived slave to a newborn, at the end of the day, I just remember that we have a beautiful, healthy baby girl, and that’s all we can ask for. That, and maybe a bit less fussing and crying. But it is what it is! My husband and my parents have helped keep me sane. And whenever I feel really overwhelmed, I look at my baby and think, “Wow…we made a baby…an actual human being. How amazing is that?” I find it mind-boggling how a tiny egg and a tiny swimmer can create a perfect little human! Part of me still can’t believe I’m a mom. I mean, I have a daughter… What?!

Anyway, I think I’m mostly rambling, so I’ll stop here. With a couple pictures, of course!

Did You Hear That?

Do you hear that clock ticking, or is it just me? Tick tock, tick tock. Oh, never mind, that’s just my biological clock making itself known. Hey, I didn’t even know I had one of those yet! I didn’t think it’d start ticking until I hit my 30s or 40s. Hmm, interesting.

As a young girl, I never fantasized about my dream wedding or finding the perfect dress. I definitely never fantasized about having kids because, ahhhh! Seriously, is there a book that tells you how to be a parent? How often do they poop? Will my little boy pee on me every time I change his diaper? When can they start brushing their own teeth? Holy crap. So I’m surprised that these things are on my mind now. I guess it had to happen eventually. I’ll be 25 next year, and that seems like the perfect age to grow up. I’d like to have a baby before I’m 30, and if you factor in being engaged for a year, and then married for another year before getting pregnant, I’m kind of running out of time. Sure, it’s just an imaginary deadline, but that’s my personal preference. My boyfriend always wanted to have kids before his 30s too, and he’s 2 years older than I am. Tick tock, tick tock. Whoa, that ticking is getting louder.

                            

I feel like we should be married already. We’ve only been living together for just under 2 years, but we’ve been in a relationship for 8 years. (We were in a long-distance relationship.) HURRY UP ALREADY! I know it’s not his fault though. He does the best he can, but he needs to find a better paying job. I almost want to pay the rent all by myself, just so he could save more money. While I’m at it, why don’t I just buy my own engagement ring too? He doesn’t even need to spend too much money on me, because I don’t believe in the 3-month rule. However, I do believe in the whole don’t-buy-the-ring-at-walmart-and-sorry-but-silver-is-not-okay thing. I’ve seen perfectly lovely diamond rings for under $3,500. I also saw a ring that was $85,000 and guess what…the diamond SUCKED. It’s a shame how ridiculously overpriced diamonds are.

I don’t even want a big, fancy wedding, like most girls do. I’m more concerned with the actual marriage than I am with the party. The wedding is one day, but marriage is supposed to be forever. Then once that’s done, we can work on the whole baby-before-we’re-30 plan. Lately, I’ve been seeing babies everywhere…online, on TV, and on YouTube when I search for “newborn babies.” It’s kind of creepy, actually. I find myself smiling when I imagine having a baby in my belly, and holding my newborn for the first time. WHAT, who am I?! Everyone who knows me knows that I’m not really into kids. I guess I’ve warmed up to the idea of being a mom. ONE DAY. (Don’t freak out, mom.) Tick tock, tick tock. Oh boy.

I want to end this post by congratulating my good friend and ex-coworker, who just got engaged last weekend. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I’m super happy for both of them, and I wish them all the best. I know my day will come too. I’m not jealous, I swear. Nope. Tick tock, tick tock. Seriously, did you hear that?

~Lily~

Malls Were Meant For Napping

I was at the mall the other day and noticed a couple of teenagers sitting down. They were probably exhausted from working 8 hours a day, paying bills and you know, being teenagers. The guy was sitting in the chair and the girl was lying on his lap with her eyes closed. Um, why the frick did you go to the mall in the first place? “Hey, I’m bored. Wanna go to the mall and take a nap?” “Sure, let’s go!” Normal people don’t do that. (Right? Say it ain’t so.) The week before, I had seen something similar, except the girl was sitting in the chair sideways with her legs wide open, eyes glued to her cell phone. How cute and not the least bit inappropriate.

When you go to the mall, there’s a 100% possibility that you’re going to be using your legs. Sure, malls probably need to have benches for age-challenged people and boyfriends who don’t want to be seen shopping at Victoria’s Secret. But do we really need comfy chairs and recliners for lazy teenagers who think it’s perfectly okay to cozy up on their boyfriend’s lap…in PUBLIC? That same day, I also saw someone playing his Nintendo DS in the food court. He was at the very first table near the doors, so I honestly think he just came in, sat down and took out his game, never intending to eat or shop. “I’m so bored. I know, I’ll go to the mall and play my video game!” People, this may surprise you, but taking naps and playing video games can both be done in the privacy of your own home. So here’s a little tip at no cost to you…STAY THE EFF HOME!

I feel very out of place when I go to the mall with my boyfriend. We’re surrounded by kids who think they’re the shit because they’re hanging out at the shit mall. There are tons of horribly dressed kids smoking outside, and then more horribly dressed kids inside, with really weird hair, screaming into their cell phones, or walking with their pants hanging off their ass, or making out with someone. Yeah, you guys are SO COOL. It disturbs me to think that those teens might be looking at me and my boyfriend, thinking that we’re one of them. I want to scream, “I graduated high school in 2006, and I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years. I just came for the chicken teriyaki and maybe a little shopping. I am not one of you!” So far, I’ve been able to contain myself. SO FAR…

~Lily~