Because, Why Not?

Hello? Is there anyone out there? Don’t want to show yourself? That’s cool, I’m quite experienced in the art of talking to myself. It’s not something to brag about though…

I haven’t the slightest clue what brought me here after months…MONTHS! Poor neglected blog that no one gives two figs about. I stopped writing, stopped getting readers, stopped caring…sort of. Had nothing to say anymore. But today I came back here and remembered how much fun I had with this in the beginning. I loved interacting with all you internet strangers. This is not to say I’m back. But I thought I’d give at least one more life update, because, why not? Who’s gonna stop me?

I am now 34 weeks pregnant, with a baby girl. I can’t believe how quickly these 8 months have gone. I still feel like I only JUST announced my pregnancy. Still haven’t quite wrapped my head around the fact that I’m gonna be a mom…a MOM! *Deep breath* Holy shit, that’s a scary thought! I haven’t so much as held a baby in SO MANY YEARS, I can’t even tell you. I’m afraid that when they hand her to me, I’m gonna feel completely clueless. But hopefully that whole mother’s instinct thing is real, and everything will just click, and I won’t be a total dummy.

On the plus side, I already love her, so that’s a start, right? At the end of the day, no one is born knowing how to be a mom. Sure, some people have experience, say, with changing diapers, but I’ll get there! I’m trying not to stress about how quickly time is going, though it’s hard not to. Still need to find a pediatrician, finish buying baby gear, and get the nursery together. I hope we get a chance to paint her room between this weekend and next. I think it’ll feel more real once we have a room that LOOKS like it’s meant for a baby, rather than the randomness that it is now. We shall see.

So yeah, I’m here, still pregnant, super uncomfortable, but otherwise okay. If you’re out there, I hope all is well with you too. And if no one’s reading this, well then…you suck. 🙂

~Lily~

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Did You Hear That?

Do you hear that clock ticking, or is it just me? Tick tock, tick tock. Oh, never mind, that’s just my biological clock making itself known. Hey, I didn’t even know I had one of those yet! I didn’t think it’d start ticking until I hit my 30s or 40s. Hmm, interesting.

As a young girl, I never fantasized about my dream wedding or finding the perfect dress. I definitely never fantasized about having kids because, ahhhh! Seriously, is there a book that tells you how to be a parent? How often do they poop? Will my little boy pee on me every time I change his diaper? When can they start brushing their own teeth? Holy crap. So I’m surprised that these things are on my mind now. I guess it had to happen eventually. I’ll be 25 next year, and that seems like the perfect age to grow up. I’d like to have a baby before I’m 30, and if you factor in being engaged for a year, and then married for another year before getting pregnant, I’m kind of running out of time. Sure, it’s just an imaginary deadline, but that’s my personal preference. My boyfriend always wanted to have kids before his 30s too, and he’s 2 years older than I am. Tick tock, tick tock. Whoa, that ticking is getting louder.

                            

I feel like we should be married already. We’ve only been living together for just under 2 years, but we’ve been in a relationship for 8 years. (We were in a long-distance relationship.) HURRY UP ALREADY! I know it’s not his fault though. He does the best he can, but he needs to find a better paying job. I almost want to pay the rent all by myself, just so he could save more money. While I’m at it, why don’t I just buy my own engagement ring too? He doesn’t even need to spend too much money on me, because I don’t believe in the 3-month rule. However, I do believe in the whole don’t-buy-the-ring-at-walmart-and-sorry-but-silver-is-not-okay thing. I’ve seen perfectly lovely diamond rings for under $3,500. I also saw a ring that was $85,000 and guess what…the diamond SUCKED. It’s a shame how ridiculously overpriced diamonds are.

I don’t even want a big, fancy wedding, like most girls do. I’m more concerned with the actual marriage than I am with the party. The wedding is one day, but marriage is supposed to be forever. Then once that’s done, we can work on the whole baby-before-we’re-30 plan. Lately, I’ve been seeing babies everywhere…online, on TV, and on YouTube when I search for “newborn babies.” It’s kind of creepy, actually. I find myself smiling when I imagine having a baby in my belly, and holding my newborn for the first time. WHAT, who am I?! Everyone who knows me knows that I’m not really into kids. I guess I’ve warmed up to the idea of being a mom. ONE DAY. (Don’t freak out, mom.) Tick tock, tick tock. Oh boy.

I want to end this post by congratulating my good friend and ex-coworker, who just got engaged last weekend. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I’m super happy for both of them, and I wish them all the best. I know my day will come too. I’m not jealous, I swear. Nope. Tick tock, tick tock. Seriously, did you hear that?

~Lily~

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