Sheetrock, Spackle, and Paint, Oh My!

After much sheet rocking, spackling, painting, and new flooring, we’re finally almost at the finish line. For a while there, our house looked like shit; bare walls waiting for new sheetrock, and floors/stairs stripped of their smelly, old carpet. Now it’s starting to look like a home. I’m pretty sure we’ll never fully reach the finish line, as house projects seem to be endless, but at least we’re making progress. We have to be moved in this weekend, as I will NOT be paying another month’s rent at the apartment. We still have to paint one more room, fix up the stairs, get a new back door and replace a few windows, but I guess that will have to wait. I just can’t wait for the day that we’re no longer surrounded by dust, both regular and sawdust.

With all the work on the house, we haven’t had time to shop for a new bedroom set or washer dryer, so we NEED to make that a priority this Labor Day weekend. I want my new stuff! And I want to buy a few decorations here and there, since decorating is the only fun part about having a house. I am NOT looking forward to cleaning out our apartment and packing everything up, but we’ve put that off long enough, and now it’s GO time. I hope we accomplish everything we need to this weekend. I’ll have a 5 day weekend, which is good, though it won’t be nearly as relaxing as I’d like it to be. I would much prefer to pay someone to help us clean and move. Oh well, such is life.

That’s my update for the year month. Hope all two of you reading this are doing well. And P.S. – where the hell has this year gone? Goodbye to the summer that barely was…

P.P.S. – Damn you, WordPress, for publishing my post yesterday, when I had it set to “Schedule” and I hit the button which also said “Schedule” and not “Publish.” What the F is wrong with you? This is why I don’t pay for you anymore…


Just a Bit of News…

This blog post contains highly important, shocking, exciting information. For me. Frankly, you might not give a shit.

I have made a huge, life-altering decision in the last few weeks. Something that affects myself, my fiance, my family. Something that I can not take back. I’ve had moments of excitement, then doubt, then happiness, and then doubt again. Lots of confusion and indecision. Lots of wishing I could go back to being a kid, and not having to make such a huge, grown-up decision. But alas, I cannot stop what’s been unleashed………… I am having a sex change.

I am totally and completely 100% kidding. Did I just cross a line? I do have news that doesn’t require surgery of any kind. Although, a brain scan couldn’t hurt, considering I may or may not be out of my mind. My fiance and I are in the process of…buying our first home! In New Jersey. This is a huge deal, considering my fiance doesn’t really want to live here forever, when it would be so much cheaper to move to Puerto Rico. So a house means we’re sticking it out…for at least 5-10 years. It’s amazeballs. Anyway, this whole thing happened rather quickly. We just happened to go to an open house one Sunday, where we happened to be pleasantly surprised by what we saw. It was priced relatively low, and looked relatively good. Granted, it’s a much older home, so it has its issues here and there, mostly minor fixes. But it’s the first house I’ve walked into that exceeded expectations. Normally, I walk into a house thinking it’ll look as great as the pictures, only to be disappointed in the end. This house in that town at that price definitely intrigued me.

Since putting in the offer, nothing has gone as planned. For one thing, they weren’t supposed to accept it. Lol. The seller’s agent had said, “Multiple offers received. Submit highest and best offers.” So we went in right at asking price, thinking it’d turn into a bidding war and that we had no shot in hell. Then when they accepted our offer, I about died of shock. It’s been a pain in the ass ever since. The sellers are divorced, so they’re renting the house out, and between the tenants and the seller’s agent, it took us about a week to get back in. This only filled me with more doubt. How could I buy a house I had only seen once? Granted, we did place an offer, but we thought we’d be able to get back into the house before they even accepted it! It’s been stressful, to say the least, but we felt better when we finally got to see it again. The tenants are nice enough and seem to be taking good care of the house.

We need to replace the front door (it’s very cheap), a couple of windows, the front steps, which are currently crappy wood, but will eventually be concrete/brick. Fingers crossed. We’re asking for a credit from the sellers, based on the home inspection, so hopefully they’ll accept, considering we offered asking price. If you’d be so kind, wish us luck that the sellers accept, and that the house doesn’t fall apart before we move in. It’s OLD. But honestly, even though it needs little things here and there, no house is perfect, even much newer homes. So I have to keep reminding myself of that, and focus on the excitement of having our own house, and our own yard to do with as we please. And I can finally decorate! I think that’s the part I’m most excited about. If everything works out, I’ll be sure to post pictures.

Anyway, that’s it. Sorry that’s not nearly as exciting (or bizarre) as a sex change. Maybe I’ll have some better news for you next time. Until then…


Son of a Fucking Blog…

I’m going to pretend that I haven’t been neglecting this blog for the last two months, and just jump right into what’s wrong with it. Has anyone else been having issues with WordPress? If I go straight to my home page, it shows me as NOT being logged in. But if I type in, then I am signed in, no problem. When I go to read someone else’s blog, 50% of the time, it shows me as NOT signed in. The little bar at the top is non-existent, and when I try to sign in through the comments section, it gives me an error message, “Sorry, your comment could not be posted.”

WHAT. THE. FUCK? Is it because I’ve neglected my blog for so long? Do I no longer deserve to be able to read, like or comment on other posts? Is it just me, or has this been happening to you too? I hope it’s happening to you too. It’s so annoying! How am I supposed to get inspired, when I can’t even be properly logged in? Damn you, WordPress. You son of a fucking blog.

Anyway, I have some news to share. But I feel like that deserves its own, less boring post, so I’ll save that for some other time. My news is both exciting and annoying, fun and scary, and a tad bit surprising. And I don’t think I know what I’ve gotten myself into. Bit of a cliffhanger, huh? Oh, you don’t care? That’s…fine.

I predict that approximately 1.5 bloggers will stumble upon this craptastic post. That’s 5 minutes of your life you’ll never get back. You’re welcome. (I’m sorry.)


Perhaps It Never Was

Translating poetry is never a good idea, but I tried it anyway. If any of you can speak/read Spanish, I hope you’ll read the original Spanish version below. It’s one of my faves. The english version, not so much.


Perhaps It Never Was

If you wish to remember me some day,
You can.
Who am I to impede that
You do?
I know the memories are forever
And to try to erase them would be
In vain.

I know this love has remained
In a collection of love stories
Ours will stay.
But don’t waste time reliving
The past.
My heart has strayed, this love
did not last.

If roses represented our love,
They have died.
If the stars used to shine for us,
They have dimmed.
If the world used to turn for us,
Now it’s stuck.
If the birds used to sing of love,
They have stopped.

Don’t think of anything
That perhaps never was.
Do not search in vain
For pieces of yesterday.
Never once did I promise
That I would stay.
It’s best to forget,
And to part ways.

The memories start to fade,
Drowning in the void.
Nothing is left,
Nothing mine and nothing yours.
Perhaps this never happened,
Perhaps it never was.
Let everything fade
With one last goodbye…

© Lillian Figueroa
August 2, 2005


Quizás Nunca Fue

Si un día quieres recordarme,
No soy quien para impedir
Que lo hagas.
Sé que los recuerdos se han quedado
E intentar borrarlos sería
En vano.

Sé que ese amor se ha quedado
En los libros de amor se ha quedado
Pero no te empeñes en revivir
El pasado.
Ya no te quiero, ya
No te amo.

Si las flores representan el amor,
Se han muerto.
Si las estrellas nos iluminaron, ya,
Se han quemado.
Si el mundo giraba para los dos,
Se ha estancado.
Si las aves cantaban de amor,
Ya han cesado.

No pienses en nada
Que quizás nunca fue.
No busques inútilmente
Lo que existía ayer.
Nunca prometí
Que me iba a quedar.
Es mejor seguir,
Es mejor olvidar.

Se esfuman los recuerdos,
Se ahogan en el vacío.
Ya nada queda,
Nada es tuyo, nada es mío.
Quizás nunca fue,
Ya…nada pasó.
Deja que todo se consuma
En un adiós…

 © Lillian Figueroa
2 de Agosto, 2005

This Never Happened

There was a poem here, but perhaps it’s best to pretend that never happened. Kind of embarrassing.

Obviously, it wasn’t good enough, so it’s been DELETED and untagged. Moving on…

I Have A Blog?

I have a blog? Well, this is certainly news to me! Imagine that…

Yes, I have been neglecting this poor little blog. I think I’m far past the point of blaming this on writer’s block. I mean, it’s been like, what, a year since I’ve actually put any effort into this?! That is so far beyond the allowed blockage period. What a disgrace! But really, who am I to have a blog? Once upon a time, I tried to be funny. Once in a blue moon, it worked out well. But let me be honest with myself…my life is soooo boring! I don’t have any funny, sad, scary, weird, awesome stories to share. I wish! I’m not some secret spy on a top secret mission, constantly in the throes of danger. I wish! Actually no, no I don’t. I’m recently engaged, but do you think I have any stories about that or the wedding that I’m supposed to be planning? Haha!

There’s still a small part of me (approximately 10.0067801%) that would love to wake up one day, inspired, and go, “AH HA! That’s what I will write, and it will be epic…EPIC!” That’s probably not going to happen, says the other 89.9932199% percent of me. So you might be asking yourself if there’s a point to this blog post. I might be asking myself that same question. I guess for the negative three remaining people who read this, I wanted to let you know that I’m still alive. Still alive and as uninspired as ever. But maybe some day! But maybe not.

And there you have it, the most pointless blog post ever written, by the blogger who often forgets she even has a blog.



I Have A Fiancé?

Can you believe that I’m still not used to the idea of my boyfriend being my fiancé? I keep referring to him as my boyfriend, and people have to keep correcting me. Oops. How do you get used to changing someone’s label? He’s had the “boyfriend” label on him for so long now. That’s quite a bit of paperwork.

Now that I do, in fact, have a fiancé, I should probably start thinking about planning this thing, huh? Yeah, probably. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around the adventure that is wedding planning. So many details, costs, stress. Ehhh, city hall, anyone? Don’t get me wrong, I love him and I’m excited to be getting married finally. And I’m really looking forward to dress shopping. But…that’s about it. I don’t know how I’m supposed to pick a date and a place and all the other nonsense involved. Don’t weddings seem to be more about the guests anyway? You have to feed them and impress them and stuff. Le sigh. I sound horrible, don’t I? But really, even applying for a marriage license sounds confusing. And they expire after only about 30 days. What the hell! Why should you even need a fucking license to get married? Driving a car, sure, but getting married? Ugh. You know how I feel about stupid rules.

My friend Michelle, whose beautiful wedding I was recently in, has been very helpful. It’s nice that she got to go through this first, because now I get to annoy her with questions, lol. And I’ll get to annoy my mom and all you lucky readers too! Any tips or suggestions are required welcome. Seriously, help me. How does one stay sane while trying to plan a wedding? Especially when said wedding is in Puerto Rico, and I live in New Jersey. WHAT??? How did I get myself into this mess? Oh yeah, because I said, “Yes!”


P.S. I really do love him. I know I’m complaining a lot, but that’s what future brides are supposed to do. I just want to have our special day and that’s it. Just cut the crap and skip right to the honeymoon happily ever after. Is that so bad?



See You In Germany

Shame on me, I haven’t posted about my brother (in the Army) in a while! He finished his Advanced Individual Training (with Honors) right before Thanksgiving, and has been home since. It was definitely great being able to spend some time with him, and listening to some of his stories. He’s leaving for Germany on Thursday for two years. Every single person we’ve heard from has had nothing but wonderful things to say about Germany. The only sucky thing is that it’s not cheap flying to/from Germany, so we won’t see him unless we fly there. Yikes! Still, it’ll be a great experience for him. I’m sure there’s lots to see, and he’ll be able to visit France and other places while he’s there too. I’m happy for him and wish him nothing but the best, and a very safe trip there! Hopefully we’ll find a way to visit him, because two years is a long time.

Anyway, I just wanted to write a quick update. Even though it’s been a while, it’s still weird when I think about my brother being in the Army. How’d that happen? But we’re all very proud. He’s done great (got lots of certificates/awards) and I think it’s cool that he’s learned all these things. (He’s a medic.) He’s thinking of making a career out of this, so good for him! That’s all for now. Auf Wiedersehen! That’s goodbye in German…



Just To Summarize…

This has been an interesting week, to say the least. Two major things happened, two things which are so contrary to one another.

On Tuesday morning, I looked outside the window to see that it was currently snowing, and slowly accumulating. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t even want to go to work when it’s raining, let alone snowing. I thought, maybe they’ll close the office or something, or at least send an e-mail for us to drive safe and use our best judgement. That didn’t happen, so against my better judgement, I went to work. And then this happened…







I got into an accident, in case you couldn’t figure that out. And it’s not that I was driving carelessly. I swear I’m a good driver. I was coming up to a light and started braking, and the car just wouldn’t stop. I was scared so I pressed on the brakes harder, which I now realize is the opposite of what you should do when there’s snow/ice on the road. So BAM. My first fender bender. (And hopefully the last.) The other car was perfectly fine, no visible damage. It was a large mini-van with an enormous bumper. I was so pissed, because I should’ve just listened to my lazy gut and stayed home.

Then yesterday, (Wednesday) this happened…

It's about time!
It’s about time!

I got engaged! Finally! We’ve only been in a relationship for nearly a decade, counting the years we were in a long-distance relationship. We were having dinner with my parents and my brother at Friday’s. (Fancy, I know…) We were talking and all of a sudden, he goes, “Well…anyway…before I leave for Puerto Rico…will you marry me?” And I said, “Really?! Here?” And then I said, “Yes, of course!”  I was laughing the whole time, because it was so random, very few words, no getting down on one-knee. But I always knew he wasn’t the most creative or romantic type of guy. It almost felt like it wasn’t happening, because it was so random. But hey, we love each other and that’s all that matters. About an hour after he proposed, it hit me. “Crap, now I need to PLAN this thing?” Yeah, guess I’m not so romantic myself.

Accident one day, proposal the next day. Who knew?!


Rules (And Taxes) Can Bite Me

How does a person become the rule maker? Because I want to be that person. Current rule makers are busy making rules that are retarded as fuck only serve to annoy people and make them do more work than necessary. Renewing your license, for example. Why must we fill out that stupid form (every time!) and bring 6-points worth of documents with us? It’s not like those documents actually prove that we know how to drive. (Yeah, because my being born really proves that I’m a responsible driver.) Then when you complain, all you hear is, “Sorry, but those are the rules…” That’s  the worst excuse in the world. Somebody MADE UP those rules, and they could easily unmake them if they weren’t such a giant butt-hole.

Buying a house is a great example of how much rules suck. Now that we’re considering buying a house, (because paying rent is the equivalent to throwing your money out the window on a windy day) we’re realizing just how annoying all these rules are. Why can’t you just find a house, make an offer, mortgage approved, sign, and be done with it? That’s complicated enough without all the back and forth, figuring out your budget, attorney/Realtor costs, inspection/appraisal costs, closing cost, other costs that they sneak in there, plus making sure the house has all the necessary C.O.’s. What the fuck? I thought there was only one C.O. Now I find out that if you finish a basement, you need a permit. If you add a garage or extend the bedroom or add a fucking window, there’s a permit for that shit too.

Why do you need permission to make a house better? Oh right, because even if you pay it off, the damn thing is never yours. You’ll pay taxes for the rest of your life, which is basically just a slightly lower mortgage. Why are we forced to pay taxes? Is it because those are the rules? You must pay taxes until you die. But only because they haven’t figured out a way to charge taxes on the other side. Do you realize that with cars and homes, we pay more in taxes than the car or house is worth? If the land is just sitting there NOT doing anything, why do we need to pay $5,000 – $20,000 for the grass that just happens to sit around the house? Because the money funds the schools? FIND ANOTHER WAY TO PAY FOR SCHOOLS!

This post was only supposed to be about how much rules suck, but then I realized that taxes suck even harder. And not winning the lottery sucks the most. Because if you win the lottery, you don’t have to worry about how much to put down while still leaving enough money for attorney/Realtor/closing costs, AND leaving enough for house repairs and/or an emergencies. Not to say that money fixes everything, but…yeah, it kinda does. So fuck.


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