What Can I Say?

A month later, I force myself to open up WordPress and type something, anything. A month of silence, and rather than coming back inspired, I come back just as empty as before.  Perhaps even emptier. What can I say?

A month later, and not much has changed. Everything is as routine and boring as ever. Is life meant to be this way? Go to work, eat, sleep, and repeat? Shouldn’t there be more to life than that? I have no clue. What can I say?

A month later, and I find myself feeling more bitter every day. A month of double the work, double the stress, and half the appreciation. A month of wondering, is it even worth it? Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? What can I say?

Maybe in another month or so, I’ll have a new perspective. I’m not always this negative. Despite hating how quickly time flies, a part of me is excited for the new year. Work will slow down, the stress will ease, and maybe I’ll find time for inspiration. Maybe. I have this feeling that something exciting will happen in the near future. A symbolic ring, a promise of forever? Who knows. There’s a glimmer of hope, and something to look forward to. Until then…what can I say?

~Lily~

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16 thoughts on “What Can I Say?

  1. Keep your chin up! I’ve definitely been where you are right now and it’s hard (cliche alert!) to see the light at the end of the tunnel but I promise it’s there. It might be months or even a year away, but you’ll get to it. Hope the cold isn’t keeping you down!

    1. Thanks Lillian! I’m not depressed, just more and more annoyed with the same old routine, blablabla! But I really do feel like next year could be promising. Yeah, you’re right, the cold isn’t helping either. I walked out of the apartment this morning without a coat (just a light cardigan) because apparently, I’m in denial that summer is over, lol.

  2. Thanks for checking in. And yeah, sometimes life is just . . . meh. You’ll get through it. In fact, you will look back at these doldrums with wonder and fondness some day when you have babies and are so crazy busy tired you don’t have a second to think! Maybe? Hang in there!

    1. Oddly enough, I feel more positive since writing this. Most of my frustration is with work and this persistent writer’s block. Curse the block! I’m sure I won’t have a chance to be bored or complain about routines when kids are involved…surely every day will be an exhausting adventure! Maybe I shouldn’t rush that… Thanks!

  3. Lily, I miss you when you are away! I always worry that something is wrong. I am sorry that you are not feeling very positive lately. It happens to all of us. 😦

    What you need is a carrot dangling in front of you, not too close so you can’t quite reach it yet but close enough that you are filled with anticipation as you get closer. This is what my friend says keeps her motivated and able to endure the tough times. Perhaps a weekend trip, a broadway show, etc. Hang in there Senorita. 🙂

    1. Aww, thank you Maria! I feel more positive since writing this pointless post! Lol.

      You have no idea how much I could use a weekend trip. Scratch that, I need at least a full week away from work and all that nonsense! Lol, hopefully soon. 😀

  4. This was written very beautifully. I know how you feel though. When the days blur into each other because they’re all the same thing over and over–blehhh. I hope you get a ring soon! That would be super exciting!

    1. Thanks Lily! It can be so boring, this whole “same shit, different day” thing. Just ugh! Yes, that would be exciting…I feel like I’ve waited long enough, damnit! Lol. We looked at lots of rings recently, so here’s hoping sometime in the next decade?! Lol.

  5. I reckon don’t think about it too hard Lily – or don’t judge yourself on your content.

    There’s a woman whose blog I like and she just writes about daily stuff that happens. The reason I like it, is it’s interesting to hear other lives, what happens in those lives, what goes down – and how they think and act on it.

    I reckon rather than giving it a month, write notes of when something inspires you to THINK because on that you can WRITE – and then come home & write what you thought/felt. Blogging is all about what people think/feel, & that’s why it engages. I can see you are able to write fluently, well, chatty style – you’re fine! 🙂

    1. Thanks for the kind words! I do put too much pressure sometimes. Last year, I couldn’t wait to get home and turn on the computer so I could write. Oh well, I suppose if I let it, it’ll come to me…eventually. 😉

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