Not Even Trying

Wow. Talk about lack of trying. I have never gone so long without posting. Two whole weeks with nothing to say. Or more accurately, no energy to bother saying a single thing. To say I’ve felt disconnected from my blog is an understatement. Exactly one year ago, I was addicted to WordPress, and was slowly becoming more popular, which only made me want to blog more. I neglected housework so that I could dedicate more time to writing posts and reading other people’s blogs. At times, I professed my undying love to my computer more often than to my boyfriend. I also occasionally exaggerate. Anyway, the point is, I don’t feel that way anymore. Which would be fine, healthy even, except that I went from one extreme to the other. I don’t care anymore. It started as a serious case of writer’s block, but now, it’s just…who knows. Don’t get me wrong. I still very much enjoy reading other people’s blogs. I just don’t enjoy my own. Maybe inspiration will strike, and I’ll write something interesting that will make me proud. Maybe. Some day. I won’t hold my breath.

How do you cure this thing that goes far beyond writer’s block? How can I force myself to write, and not care how it’s received? I want to write just to write, but I can’t. I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t have a public blog if I was just writing for myself. I want to interact, maybe get a laugh or two out of someone. It’s been ages since I’ve written something that could be considered funny. I want to write something that can touch people, something that might even make you cry. Sometimes I read other people’s blogs and I’m in awe of their talent. Maybe just a little jealous. But see, that’s my problem. I want to do and say all these things, but how can I, if I’m not making any effort? How can you accomplish something if you don’t even try? What a hypocrite. What a lazy little hypocrite. As if a blog post is supposed to just write itself! Silly Lily. I need to go to a writer’s therapy group or something. In the mean time, I’ll just keep not trying. I seem to do that pretty well.

Have a lovely rest of the week. Unless it’s raining where you are too, in which case…BLECH!!

~Lily~

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26 thoughts on “Not Even Trying

  1. Hi! I am totally new to the blogging world and was just browsing through WordPress when I saw this post! I can totally relate to how you feel , ^ is one of the reasons I actually stopped writing/ alongside other time constraints with work and study etc and I feel now more inspired to just write 🙂 and ‘let it floww’ as cheesy as that sounds haha.

    I am actually doing my dissertation research at the moment, and its all about blogging in Emerging Adulthood. A period from 18-25… check out my blog if you can 🙂 http://laurateresabutler.wordpress.com/ . The aim is to try and get a discussion going regarding the topics commented so if you have an opinion get it on there! 😀 Take care and keep writing!!

    1. Hi Laura. Thanks for taking the time to comment! Letting it flow is not cheesy, that’s what I need to start doing, rather than worrying so much! I’ll have to check out that post of yours. Thanks again and take care!

  2. I think we started our blogs in the same month last year. And oddly enough, I’m feeling the same way as you. We seem to be on the same timeline. I have very few stories to tell lately. Have I told all my stories? Certainly not, since there is new shit happening everyday — just not worthy of my time and effort to drop into words. I was thinking about blogging a list of all the topics that wanted to write about but just said, “naw. forget it.” But wouldn’t that be dissapointing for readers? “Hey, here are some topics that I wanted to entertain you with, but decided to watch tv instead.” Maybe its the normal wordpress cycle. What does it take to push through year number two? and three?

    1. Oh no, it’s contagious! It sucks feeling this way. I didn’t think I’d feel this way til the second or third year…it’s only been ONE year. It’s just super easy to give up on writing. But here’s hoping we get our groove back. You definitely shouldn’t deprive your readers of those fabulous topics I’m sure you have. 😉

  3. I think you’re being too tough on yourself and over thinking everything. There are no rules to blogging except the ones you create for yourself. You’ve been funny and sarcastic in almost every narrative you’ve written. Writing is like speaking into a tape recorder. Is that MY voice I’m hearing? You will almost also sound better to others than yourself. You don’t have to try and be funny, cute, or anything else for that matter. What you are will come out in whatever you write and you couldn’t stop that from happening if you wanted to. Give yourself a break, this is supposed to be fun not work.

    1. I think I am being too tough. We’re each our own toughest critic, right? I know, it shouldn’t be like work but that’s what it’s been lately. Shame on me! I’ll try to get myself out of this. Thank you!

  4. I would guess that what you’re feeling is what every blogger feels at one point. I know I have this up and down blogging cycle: I want to write, I enjoy writing, then I start to get writer’s block…then I feel like it’s a chore. I think that’s the key for me, to stop worrying about cranking stuff out and more just writing when the mood strikes me. I find that when I take little breaks, I start to miss it and come back. Just come back to blogging when you feel like it, Lily.

    1. Yup, I’m sure you’re right, and we’ve all been there, done that. I just didn’t think my writer’s block would take a turn for the worst! Stupid non-existent pressure. I definitely need to not look at this like a chore. I’ll work on that! 🙂

  5. Ohhhh I know how you feel, Lils. ‘I MUST WRITE UTTERLY FABULOUS THINGS AND MAKE EVERYONE IN THE WORLD LAUGH AND SING.’ That’s what you feel like. The thing is, if you can write (which you can – tenfold), then whatever you write will be a joy to read. If you’re not inspired by anything, MAKE SOMETHING UP! Seriously. Tell a story about you stealing a millionaire’s wallet and sodding off to Vegas for a week and copping off with an oil baron who takes you to New York to stay in the penthouse suite of the Mandarin Oriental where you have ridiculous, dirty sex against the floor to ceiling windows overlooking Central Park, and eventually the glass cracks and he falls out and splatters onto the pavement and you have to go on the run and become the most wanted woman in America. Just a thought 🙂
    Seriously, you are fabulous – don’t stress out, because the more pressure you put on yourself, the less likely you are to think of anything. Trust me. I’m in that state all. The. Time. x

    1. It’s a sucky feeling! Stupid pressure! You’re always so good at it though. I’m a fraud of a writer. I do LOVE your idea of making something up. Can I steal that story you just shared? It cracked me up. 😆 Thanks Becky. I shall try not to stress myself out so much. If I don’t post for another month, so be it. I’ll get there eventually! 🙂

  6. Can you feel the love for you by all your followers??? John and Darla make excellent points! Don’t beat yourself up about it! Just write when you feel like it with no pressure. Remember to just write for fun and not about a purpose. I always enjoy your posts my boricua! Tranquila. 🙂

    1. Hi Maria…I can feel a little love, I guess, lol. I knowwww, I need to stop putting pressure on myself that no one else is putting on me. This shouldn’t be a chore, but I can’t help being annoyed by my lack of writing. I’ll try to work on it and realize that I just need to let it flow. And if it doesn’t flow, it’s not the end of the world. Gracias. 😉

  7. Don’t you write blog posts in advance? That way you always have one to pop out on a rainy day. OTOH, do you ever feel that oversupplying blogs can lead to readers becoming familiar and going elsewhere to look for new reading?

  8. Lily, you have no idea how many times I have come THIS close to just shutting down everything and sending out a mass email to people to say, “sorry, show’s over! Thanks for coming!” I definitely agree with what everyone else has to say and it really does become a cycle that you just have to learn to deal with. I thought this sort of stuff would get easier with time but it almost feels like the opposite. Once the freshness of it all stops becoming fresh, you have to learn to come up with ways to entertain yourself (and your readers). I was definitely in a funk for a bit myself but it’s slowly coming back. Like everyone said, be gentle with yourself and don’t overthink things. Sending you a digital hug and a drink. Alcoholic or non-alcoholic, up to you. 😉

    1. No way! I’m glad you haven’t shut this down. I’ve considered it as well. Like, yesterday, lol. It’s a really annoying cycle…how do we deal with it? Stupid writer’s block that morphs into whatever THIS is! I definitely miss when this was fresh, new, exciting. Those were the days. Although I must say, it probably wasn’t healthy to be as obsessed as I was with this blog! I’ll try to get back into things too…it was just driving me crazy cuz this is the worst it’s been. Easy does it, I guess. Thanks for the hug and alcoholic drink! Lol. 😉

  9. Ooo girl I feel the same way. Sometimes summer just takes me away from the computer. I haven’t been a very good blogger this summer. I’ve been uninspired and just make lazy posts. Oh well! I love your layout! Haha!

    1. I see lots of us are in the same boat! Hm, I never thought to blame it on summer. I’m gonna go with that! Watch, in December I’ll be feeling exactly the same, lol. Oh well, here’s hoping we all find inspiration. And thanks, haha…I wonder where I found this layout… 😉

  10. Yep, it is indeed a cycle. I’ve been on this up and down ride for way too long. I just recently went through an existential more than writer’s block blogging crisis myself, so I know of what you speak. It ebbs and flows, my dear. Don’t be so hard on yourself. There is no pressure but for that you place on yourself. Be kind to you. We’ll all be here when you are ready to come back. Take your time. 🙂

    1. Vicious cycle! It’s no fun for any of us, I see. Agreed, I need to relax, take it easy, lay off with the imaginary “pressure.” 😀 Thanks Misty! I hope I’m not left with 0 followers when I get back to normal. 😉

  11. I’ve been struggling to be more dedicated to my blog lately, too. But I’m getting frustrated because I have lost a lot of the initial readers that I had (mostly family and friends), as they’ve lost interest in the daily goings on of life with baby. I want interaction with my readers and a wider audience…I want to know that people are reading it and enjoying it, because otherwise, what’s the point? I don’t think that’s strange at all, I completely understand what you’re saying. If it makes you feel better, I almost always laugh or at least smile every time I read your blog. Even this one! (I also occasionally exaggerate! HA!) Keep your chin up kid. You’re not alone on that boat.

    1. Hi Jessica. Thanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words. 😉 I want to say I’m glad I’m not alone, but then that sounds like I’m saying that I’m glad other people are losing readers and motivation, lol. I feel you though. It’s tough to hold people’s interest. Realistically, I know readers come and go. But it’s hard to keep writing for no one…why bother? If thinking that way makes me a bad writer, then oh well! Since your blog is about being a new mom, definitely make sure you use good tags, that’s important. I’m sure there are lots of moms out there who could relate to your blog, but they can’t if they can’t find it. I hope things turn around for you too. Take care!

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