Things I Can’t Stand – Part 6


Okay, ABC. I bet you think your shows are awesome. They probably make you tons of money too. Well, I just wanted to thank you for creating The Bachelor and all those wonderful spin-off shows that make me ashamed to be human. Nicely done! It’s kind of weird, because I’m sure the people are real, but everything just seems so….fake. Hmm. I guess that’s a prerequisite for reality TV shows. You can’t have reality without a little bullshit fiction, am I right?

It’s amazing how natural you make everything look. I almost believe that I should have a row of guys waiting for me, dressed in nice suits…or armor, sweating it out for the sake of a rose. Every guy’s dream come true. It looks so natural when the bachelor(ette) is standing there, sighing heavily, looking down a lot, building the tension before giving away the final rose. Epic. Just look at all those men fighting for one women’s attention. Do you see how excited they get when she walks away, and comes back with a little rose for them? So natural. Real life should totally work that way. Tell me, is there a script? There has to be, because I can’t believe the shit that comes out of those people’s mouths. Priceless, really. Or better yet, it’s epic. Because the word epic is totally appropriate for a bullshit TV show. I’ve even come to forget what that word actually means. I showered all by myself this morning and it was epic.

Young girls everywhere used to dream of falling in love with their high school sweetheart and getting married. Now young girls get to dream of growing up and being on The Bachelor. Better yet, they can aim higher and dream of being on The Bachelorette. Why fight for one guy when 25 guys can fight for YOU? Talk about a dream come true. Honestly, America owes you so much, ABC. I don’t even want to think about falling in love with a guy unless 25 other women are competing for his love, or 25 men are lining up for me in the hopes of building a collection of tiny roses. And if that doesn’t work out, because, let’s face it, it never does, then I can join a whole bunch of other lonely castmates for a chance to bring shame to my family win $250,000. Righteous! Normal relationships are just so boring. Thanks for that. No, really, thank you. You make this world a better place.



What it all comes down to...
What it all comes down to…

26 thoughts on “Things I Can’t Stand – Part 6

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  1. OMG Love this one Lily! I laughed when I read it. I don’t watch the Bachelor or other reality tv shows, but its just so superficial and you kind of think “why do people watch these things. Don’t you have a life or anything close to it?” Like you said it makes you question humanity and it’s intelligence. Do people get money for being on the show? I don’t actually know too much about it. Great post!

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I watched last season out of curiousity. Because I thought, “How the hell has this show been on so long?” I really have no idea how they keep making money off these shows. I swear these people must be paid to be on it. Otherwise why embarrass yourself on public TV? It’s amazing, lol.

  2. LOL It’s amazing how far people will go to get that “fifteen minutes of fame”. I think I’d need way more than just a rose to turn me into a media prostitute.

    1. Media prostitute, that’s describes them perfectly! Lol. It really is amazing. I know this isn’t the first post I’ve written on the subject, but I can’t help it… These shows just amaze me and not in a good way!

    1. Haha, thanks Kitt! I never watched this crap, but I was curious last season about HOW this show has lasted so many years. I still don’t get it. To humiliate yourself on public camera… They must get paid to do this crap!

  3. I might’ve watched a grand total of 5 minutes since the show started airing. And I can’t believe it’s still on. I feel embarrassed to know that there are actually members of the same species who willingly (key word: WILLINGLY) go on tv to act like that and say those things.

    1. Lol, good for you! I’m ashamed to say I’ve watched more than 5 minutes. Morbid curiousity, I guess. It really needs to end though. ABC is making way too much money on this load of crap. I don’t get it!

  4. I’ve never seen it, but I’ve seen the advertisements for it. It reminds me a bit of The Bold and the Beautiful the way they look at each other. I guess it all comes down to people who are willing to sell their souls for money (and fame, if you can call it that) 😉

    We’ve got a guy filming the builders who are working on my farm at the moment. They do dumb things like swim with crocodiles and go off road racing, etc. Apparently it may be a ‘reality show’ on Discovery if they ever pick up the series. It’s about ‘rednecks’ (as they call them). I was interviewed last week and then told my son. He said if he ever turns on the tv and sees his mother on a ‘redneck’ reality show, he’ll disown me! LOL 😀

    1. People are so dumb! I mean you have to be to let yourself be recorded doing and saying all these really dumb things on this really DUMB show!

      Omg, no way! I wonder if they’ll pick it up. There are enough reality tv shows as it is. Haha, your son is hilarious. Though I must say, I don’t know how I’d feel either about my mother on some redneck reality show! 😉

  5. Well said. And because of you, I have turned down the invitation to be the star-stud in next years airing. Now what am I going to do? I guess I’ll just hang out with my wife.

  6. I never watch those shows. Years ago, I watched part of the one where they took the normal guy and pretended he was a millionaire and did The Bachelor thing, but only because I wanted to see how the women reacted when they saw he wasn’t rich.

    1. I don’t blame you. It’s total BS when these people say they’re doing this for love. LOVE?! Real life doesn’t work that way! Sometimes I watch out of morbid curiosity. Shame on me, shame. 😉

  7. Sadly, I used to watch these shows, but I broke free of the habit long ago. I always loved how every rose ceremony was THE MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY, YET! We get it ABC, you are building drama. But seriously, cut that shit out.

    1. I’m so proud of you for breaking that habit! ABC is ridiculous! If I could report them for over-use of the words “dramatic” and “epic” and for just being plain STUPID, I so would, and I’d enjoy it very much. 😀

    1. I felt ashamed when I watched the 2nd episode, after having written this post. Shh, don’t tell anyone. I don’t actually LIKE it…it’s just so ridiculous that I can’t help myself.

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