These Situations

Situation: Monday morning, my alarm is being obnoxious.
What I should do: Get up and get ready for work.
What I really do: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Situation: Just finished eating dinner, followed by 6 pieces of Hershey’s Bliss, and some chips.
What I should do: Have an apple, then brush my teeth and stop eating immediately.
What I really do: Say, “Fuck it, I’ve already eaten all this crap, why stop now? I’ll start eating healthy TOMORROW.”

Situation: Sitting in the living room, wondering if I remembered to turn off the stove.
What I should do: Get off my fat ass and check the stove immediately.
What I really do: Say, “Fuck it, I trust myself. I’d probably smell it before it turned into a real fire anyway.”

Situation: Major headache, with no intention of going away.
What I should do: Take Advil, Tylenol, anything… Drugs.
What I really do: Whine about it and wait it out because I hate swallowing pills.

Situation: It’s Monday, my ass is sitting at my work desk.
What I should do: Be a good little worker and do my job.
What I really do: Write this ridiculous blog post.


CONCLUSION: There is absolutely nothing wrong with me. If you drew a conclusion along the lines of “lazy bitch” then shame on you. How dare you think such a thing…



25 thoughts on “These Situations

  1. Ahahah this post amused me! I try not take pills and just sleep things off when I have a headache. I’m totally with you on the Hersheys vs.Apples debate. My dad brought back some Cadbury’s chocolate and it’s been in the basement since he got back last month from being overseas. I only started to eat them just now. I hope work isn’t that stressful!

    1. I’m glad! This post was all I could come up with, stupid writer’s block. Yup, chocolate is always better than apples, lol. Might as well enjoy life, right? Hurry up and eat the Cadbury’s before I do! 🙂

      1. Sooooo easy. The TV is to blame I think. However when I watch the show biggest loser, I do get all worky outy… oh man that guy lost 150lbs and I have just been sitting on my ass watching him do it? I think that show is good for my heart and body if for no other reason it makes me feel guilty enough to get moving!

        1. Definitely blame tv. That’s good though, at least you’re watching a show that motivates you! I watch things like The Big Bang Theory, which makes me laugh, but doesn’t help me lose weight or anything, lol.

  2. The things we should do are overrated anyways. I had to laugh at the stove one (although you’d also have to assume you don’t pass out from the gas leak first). And I’ve been in that kind of work situation too many times to count. Heck, I’m doing that right now, commenting on your post when I should be doing work right now.

    1. Totally overrated! You’re right, I could die before I smell the fire. Oh no, I should work on my laziness just a tad bit, in that case. 😉 Thanks for slacking at work to come comment over here. 😉

    1. Pills are awful! Even when I have cramps, I choose to bitch and moan. 😦 What’s crazy is I used to take them, then I started overthinking and feeling like they’d get stuck in my throat and it finally freaked me out enough that I just stopped! 😦

  3. Just last night I sat on the couch and wallowed in my headache because I was just too lazy to pause the TV show that I was watching and walk the less than 100 steps to the bathroom to grab an Aleve out of the medicine cabinet. Instead, I just sat there and whined about it as if there was absolutely nothing I could do.

    And I don’t even have the excuse that I hate swallowing pills.

    1. Lol…I hear ya! I’m so glad there are other lazy people out there who understand where I’m coming from. Though I prefer to say that I’m not lazy…I’m just focused on what I really, really, really DON’T want to do. 🙂

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