Bathroom Needs


I realize my title today might lead you to believe that I’ll be discussing being constipated using the bathroom, but I assure you, that’s exactly what I wanted you to think. However, it’s probably best to stay away from such intimate topics on a public blog. You’re welcome. I might have titled this post Restroom Needs, but the term restroom bothers me. How many people go to the restroom to rest? I don’t know about you, but I don’t find public bathrooms very relaxing. Quite the opposite, really. How many people have left residue on that toilet seat? (How hard is it to clean up after yourself?) How many people forgot to flush before me? (Seriously, how do you forget to flush?) How many people decided not to wash their hands, and then put their germs all over the door? To all those people, I say, YOU SUCK.

But alas, I’m not here to pass judgement. (That’s not a typo…I chose to spell it the British way because it looks better.) Here’s my complaint. Why the frickity fruck frack don’t bathrooms have automatic doors? There are automatic doors practically everywhere except the one place you need it most. I’m not saying we don’t need automatic doors in other places, but come on! How could any automatic-door-placement-decision-maker not realize the importance of automatic doors in bathrooms? It should be common sense. People wipe themselves and then touch the door. They wipe things and touch doors! I am outraged. OUTRAGED, I say!

Actually, no, I’m not that intense. But I raise a very valid point, if I do say so myself, which I do…I say so. Another valid point to be made is the fact that I just dedicated an entire post to bathrooms, and possibly, I grossed you out a tiny bit. Or more than just a tiny bit. Good. My work here is done. Which works out splendidly because I’ve run out of things to say. So………



paperless bathrooms


20 thoughts on “Bathroom Needs

  1. Sometimes I think people who’ve been in public restrooms need to be tracked down just to find out what the hell they did in there. I don’t know how many times I’ve come out and wanted to announce to the person in line, “That wasn’t me.”

  2. I don’t think people “forget” to flush.. they don’t want to touch it so they figure someone else will flush it for them.. and that pisses me off! Use your damn foot if you don’t want to touch it.

      1. Exactly.. now I will say there have been times I haven’t washed my hands and I got the “OMG she’s gross” look.. but what they didn’t know is I have very sensitive skin and if they have flowery smelling soap or the real medicinal smelling soap I can’t use those.. my hands break out and the hurt like hell and will end up cracking from them.. so I just rinse my hands off and go…:-(

  3. I left a bathroom this weekend that would not flush. No matter how many times I pushed that little handle, it just kept swirling around and wouldn’t go down (it was just paper, but still). Then I came out and there was someone waiting, and I so wanted to say “it wouldn’t flush, I SWEAR” but I didn’t. So now that person just thinks I’m disgusting. Sorry random person behind me!!

    1. Oh no! That’s true, it’s not always that person’s fault. Good point. I hate for people to think I’m responsible for whatever mess someone ELSE left behind. 😳 I guess there’s no easy solution here.

  4. This may be the first bathroom etiquitte post I’ve read but you are so right on all points.. I was taught never to sit down and clean up behind myself..Oh, public restrooms are just

    1. Thanks. Yikes, I could never sit on one of those. And I would be so embarrassed to leave a mess for someone else. Come on people! Icky indeed. If I didn’t have to work, I could avoid public restrooms altogether. 😉

  5. Oh, public bathrooms. I try to avoid them at all costs if I can. Some older bathrooms have doors that can’t be opened unless you use the handle which pisses me off. What’s the point of washing my hands if I’m going to dirty them again (possibly even more) by having to touch the door handle?

    1. I know, I do too. I’m glad that at least they do a good job of cleaning the bathroom at work, but if I’m out somewhere, I just hold it…lol. Stupid door handles! We all need to vote for automatic bathroom doors. 😀

  6. When I worked in a government department (in a brand new building) there were official signs on the interior doors with the stick figure standing on the toilet seat and a big red cross through the picture – it was hilarious, but not really funny at all because people must have been kangarooing (yes- that’s what I call it) on the seat and spreading their poo and pee far and wide! IKES!

  7. Bathroom topics are not-not for the blog area. Half my blog would disappear if I removed the bathroom topics.
    So keep up the good work… only dont take all the ideas for my favorite topic for humor.

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