No Funny Business While I’m Gone

Before I leave for Puerto Rico, I just need to ask you for one favor. It’s a simple favor, really. Don’t post anything interesting while I’m gone. Better yet, don’t post anything at all. Got it? Simple, right? Good, thank you.

I’ll probably figure out how to get internet access on my laptop, (optimism) but there’s still a huge chance that I’ll be left to die with no internet access (pessimism). In that case, I’ll occasionally be able to browse a few posts on my phone, (glimmer of hope) but I don’t have unlimited data so that won’t get me very far (hopelessness). If I DO get to read some of your posts, I probably won’t be able to comment as often as I’d like to (reality). You’ll learn to forgive me eventually (fact).

Absolutely no thought has gone into the things I’ve packed. I was so excited to use my new suitcase, that I just threw things in there. Yeah, that’s pretty stupid. Apparently, I filled it with shirts that look like all the other shirts, only in different colors. There are a few nice tops, but mostly, my summer clothes suck. I would love to buy a whole new wardrobe and tons of shoes. And I would…if I didn’t care about money. If I knew for SURE that the world was ending this year, then I would have spent all my money on clothes and a brand new Benz. Er, um, I mean, I would have donated it all to charity. You don’t need money in hell heaven, you know. You can get in for free. All it’ll cost you is your life. Haha! (Not funny.)

I’m going to be really good while I’m on vacation. I’m not bringing any candy with me, and they don’t sell my favorites over there, so I’m giving it all up. I’ll go a whole…month…without my…Hershey’s Bliss or my…Starburst GummiBursts. I, uh…sorry, I’m choking back tears here. But yeah, surely I’ll survive without those things. There’s the sun and beautiful beaches and, uh, delicious food and…no internet access or candy, and oh-my-gosh, it’s going to be awful. Oh, the horror!

Goodbye for now, my loves. I’ll try to enjoy myself, but only because you told me to. I’ll also try to take pictures, but I go to P.R. every year, so taking pictures isn’t exciting anymore. Don’t worry, though. I have old pics that I can entertain you with. I’m pretty sure Puerto Rico still looks the same. Take care, and seriously, don’t post anything good while I’m gone. Seriously. Oh, and I know exactly how many followers I have, so no funny business, alright? I love you.




27 thoughts on “No Funny Business While I’m Gone

  1. Awww will miss you and am jealous of you going to PR. I love it there and the food is the bestest. Have a blast. I am going to post all my interesting things as soon as you leave the house. Like how parents always have parties after the kids go to bed.


  2. Have a great holiday and Merry Christmas (if you don’t have internet access – ARGH!)

    My next post is going to be the BEST EVER- sorry you’ll miss it (I just have to figure out what it’s going to be about now) πŸ˜€

    Enjoy! Cheers πŸ˜‰

    1. Thank you! I feel like my last few posts have all said the exact same thing…vacation and worrying about internet. Sorry guys!
      Oh, don’t you dare do a best post yet! I’m gonna try this whole optimism thing and say I WILL have internet so yeah, I’ll be reading y’all. πŸ˜‰

  3. Be careful, you might fall in love with some new candy out there and then you are fucked.

    There is some candy in Spain that I would seriously beat the shit out of my brother to get, and he would willingly let me if we got to share it. Sadder still I am in no way joking… eat no candy out there. Have a great time.

  4. Wha? Huh? Oh, uh… Don’t mind me… Just getting ready to post the most boring thing IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. πŸ˜‰
    Have fun in Puerto Rico and take lots of pictures regardless! I wish to live vicariously through you and know what warm, sunny, tropical weather is like…

    1. Haha, thanks! I’ll try to. It’s quite lovely but I’m afraid I’m so used to PR that I don’t appreciate it as much as others do. Regardless, there will be pictures. (Just, they might be old.) πŸ˜€

  5. Have an awesome trip! I’m going on a short trip myself next week so I was planning on posting something similar to this! Hahaha at least you won’t be missing out on anything interesting. πŸ˜‰
    Summer clothes huh? So jealous of that you get to go somewhere nice and warm. Eat extra food for me! (I always say this…for obvious reasons)

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