A Selfish Cooking Fool

I don’t know when or how it happened. One minute, I was a lazy, one-trick-pony cook. Now, not only do I sort of enjoy cooking, but I’ve also become a jealous cook. Say what?! I want to be the one to do all of the cooking. Okay, that’s a lie. But when I am cooking, I don’t want my boyfriend anywhere near me or my food. When something tastes delicious, I want to be able to take ALL the credit for it. Yes, I’m a selfish cooking fool.

I tend to do my best cooking when he’s not home. I always forget something when he’s around. He’ll point it out, which I suppose is good, but why, oh why, must he always be around when I mess up? I never forget anything major, but it still bothers me. He’s very nice when he points out that I suck my mistake, and he’s always willing to help, BUT NO! I don’t want his stinkin’ help. I want to do it myself.

Even if I’m making something simple, like rice, I still don’t want him around, even if it’s just to turn the rice. “What are you doing? That’s MY rice. I’ll turn it, thank you very much.” I KNOW, it’s ridiculous. I never thought I could get so possesive over food. Uncooked food. Me, the girl who used to sit back while my boyfriend did all the cooking. Those were good times. What’s gotten into me?!

The only thing I’ll let him do every time is anything fried. The noise, the smell, the splatter, the potential burns…I’ll pass, thank you. However, the other day, he was frying away, and I looked at the meat with sad eyes. “I wish it was me. I should have at least seasoned you. You could have been my masterpiece.” Yeah, I have issues…what else is new? Good thing you guys accept me, flaws and all. You do, right? Right? Hello?

Have a great weekend, and, um, I love you.



29 thoughts on “A Selfish Cooking Fool

  1. I see a chef has been born in you Lily lol…all the really good cooks are crazy when it comes to their time in the kitchen….how do i know this? well i am one of the huber crazy ones lol.

    Love ya too and have a swell safe weekend.

  2. Is that why Mike gets so bent out of shape when I stir?

    I feel the same way, I want to be the master… look what I made for you, aren’t I awesome? Unfortunately Mike went to culinary school, and while he doesn’t say it, it’s pretty obvious most of the time he thinks – knows he could have done better than I. Man I effing hate that. Just butt out, let me cook, then eat it with a smile bro.

    Keep being confident in your food, and if you want him out of the kitchen just be like “I got this.”

    1. Oh no, that’s worse! He actually IS an expert. But yeah, if you want to cook, he needs to just let you be and not judge. My boyfriend’s never been mean about it but I still would rather he just not look or touch! 😀

      1. That is really super cute… don’t look, don’t touch, just eat.

        On topic but off topic that coworker that says weird things all the time, likes to offer to buy lunch for me and my friend… which is probably a come on but she is married and I am practically, anyway we decided that he thinks the way to a girls heart is through food, but he is really just falling in love with himself.

          1. Hehehhehe, yeah. Maybe you like cooking and having it be your own because it is the way to a man’s heart (you know the saying I am sure). Which is what made me think of it all to being with. I don’t know why I didn’t mention that so you didn’t think I was coming out of left field.

  3. I get nervous too when people who can cook well (like my dad and my grandma) are hovering in the background, making (unwanted!) suggestions. And I lol-ed at the part about the meat…. too funny. I think the only time I get jealous about cooking is when someone is cooking something that I can cook as well, and then I start thinking they’re trying to steal my limelight and make me look bad. 😉

    1. Oh, I feel your pain! Same here, while I’m temporarily unemployed, I’m expected to do the cooking. I was scared at first but honestly, it’s kind of fun. Making something yourself. Just try to have fun, so it doesn’t feel like a chore. 😀

  4. It’s a slippery slope. Next you’ll be writing your own recipes and subscribing to cooking websites that promise to send you daily updates on how to make Hollandaise sauce without egg yolk or something equally as mental. Just be careful.

  5. Feel free to come over to my house and take credit for meals ANY TIME. Seriously, what are you doing tonight? I have a packed full of food fridge/freezer and no desire to cook anything. I will graciously allow you to whip up some masterpiece and even let you take ALL the credit! Deal? Ok, see you at 6:00.

    1. Lol! Oops, sorry I didn’t make it. 😉 Don’t worry, I’m not completely weird. I have days where I wish the food would cook itself. And it’s probably only fun to me because I only RECENTLY started doing it. Wait til I have a house and kids to feed and…oh boy…scary. 😉

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