I’ve been unemployed since the beginning of July. When I first got the news that several of us would be laid off, I was pretty upset. It felt like the end of an era. In time though, I got used to the idea. Once I was home, I was like, “Sweet! I don’t have to wake up to go to work anymore!” I was also super excited at the idea of being able to blog ALL the time. For the first few months, I was enjoying my freedom, and I felt like I didn’t even want to work again. Blogging helped fill that void.
Recently, I’ve found myself thinking about my old job and my co-workers. I’ve realized that this whole time, I’ve avoided thinking about it. But now it’s really hitting me that I’m unemployed, and I hate that title. When filling out forms or applications, I despise having to list myself as unemployed. That’s not ME, I’m not that person. I was a hard worker and I enjoyed my job. My bosses knew they could always rely on me. More than that, I loved the people I worked with. It was great being part of a team, and I really miss that feeling.
I used to think I’d be at that job forever. The company was growing so fast and all of us got along so well. I really thought that job was a sure thing. Then we lost a client and everything changed. I was there for almost four years. It wasn’t my dream job, but it was great because we were like a little family. It’s not easy finding a job where you truly enjoy coming in to see everyone. Okay, maybe not everyone. There was one person who rubbed people the wrong way. When she was let go, all the doors were locked 24/7 just in case she came back for vengeance. But other than that, it was great!
As much as I love having time to bore you write and read so many wonderful posts, I need to do something else, to have a purpose and earn my own money. Unemployment benefits are nice, but after a while, you start to feel like people are judging you. I know once I’m working again, I’ll probably bitch and moan about my lack of blogging time, but I’ll just have to find the balance like all of you do. I want to find something to fill the void. I want to feel needed again and be part of a team. I can’t even complain about having to wake up early because I’ve been waking up earlier than I used to anyway. Damn idiotic body clock. I don’t know if there’s a point to this post. I was thinking of my old job last night, and I guess it’s still on my mind. I miss sitting in front of a computer from 8:30 – 5 in a freezing cold office. I miss working and getting stressed out. I even almost miss answering all those annoying phone calls and being bombarded with e-mails. Man, I never thought I’d say that.