I have a new pet peeve…walls and floors that are not soundproof. There is no reason AT ALL for an apartment or house to NOT be soundproof. IS THERE? NOPE! Alright, I probably shouldn’t complain too much about our apartment. It’s in a calm, quiet area. Even though shit can happen anywhere, I feel relatively safe here. But OH-MY-GOD with the squeak-creek-thump-bam-boom from the upstairs apartment. [Insert expletive here] Our neighbor is so nice, so very, very nice. He always says hi when we cross paths, he brings our mail packages inside, in case it rains or something. Nothing major, but definitely thoughtful. (Hey look, I know how to spell definitely.)
I know I shouldn’t get mad at him. It’s not HIS fault that the floor and stairs creek like nobody’s business. But I wish I couldn’t always tell which room of the house he’s in, or hear the closet door opening and closing, or the shower going. I know this works both ways, and he probably hears us too, but I’m going to pretend he doesn’t and just focus on my issue. What drives me absolutely bonkers is the fact that he tends to walk in circles. “Oh, there he is, he’s in the bedroom. Alright, now he’s in the bathroom. Leaving the bathroom, entering the bedroom again. Now he’s on the other side of the bedroom. Okay, back to the other side. Oh, there he goes again. Is he doing laps around the bed? Onto the living room, kitchen, oh, back to the bedroom. Does he have a pacing problem? He’s such a nice guy, I really shouldn’t be judging. There he goes, back and forth, creek-creek-creek. OMG, just sit still for a minute, will you?!”
And then there are the stairs. I understand people may forget things as they’re leaving the house. Perfectly normal, right? But this super nice guy goes up and down the stairs 10 times…EVERY MORNING. Down, back up, squeak-squeak, down, back up, rinse and repeat. Not only are the stairs INCREDIBLY squeaky, they are also VERY loud. It sounds like a whole football team is jumping down the stairs. I’m not even exaggerating. As nice as he is, I’m always SO HAPPY when he finally leaves for the 10th time.
Okay, let the eye-rolling commence. I know you’re all like, “What is with this chick? She thinks SHE has problems? Unbelievable!” Okay, so it’s not a real problem, just an annoyance. But I think I might have to get back to work sooner than I thought. Interviewer: “So, what made you decide to apply for this job?” Me: “Well, my upstairs neighbor walks in circles, like, A LOT. And he goes up and down the stairs a million times a day. Maybe he’s trying to exercise, so who am I to judge? But I just needed some peace and quiet so…here I am! You guys don’t have any stairs, right?” Interviewer: “Right. Well, we’ll be in touch.”