He Goes Up, He Goes Down, He Goes All Around

I have a new pet peeve…walls and floors that are not soundproof. There is no reason AT ALL for an apartment or house to NOT be soundproof. IS THERE? NOPE! Alright, I probably shouldn’t complain too much about our apartment. It’s in a calm, quiet area. Even though shit can happen anywhere, I feel relatively safe here. But OH-MY-GOD with the squeak-creek-thump-bam-boom from the upstairs apartment. [Insert expletive here] Our neighbor is so nice, so very, very nice. He always says hi when we cross paths, he brings our mail packages inside, in case it rains or something. Nothing major, but definitely thoughtful. (Hey look, I know how to spell definitely.)

I know I shouldn’t get mad at him. It’s not HIS fault that the floor and stairs creek like nobody’s business. But I wish I couldn’t always tell which room of the house he’s in, or hear the closet door opening and closing, or the shower going. I know this works both ways, and he probably hears us too, but I’m going to pretend he doesn’t and just focus on my issue. What drives me absolutely bonkers is the fact that he tends to walk in circles. “Oh, there he is, he’s in the bedroom. Alright, now he’s in the bathroom. Leaving the bathroom, entering the bedroom again. Now he’s on the other side of the bedroom. Okay, back to the other side. Oh, there he goes again. Is he doing laps around the bed? Onto the living room, kitchen, oh, back to the bedroom. Does he have a pacing problem? He’s such a nice guy, I really shouldn’t be judging. There he goes, back and forth, creek-creek-creek. OMG, just sit still for a minute, will you?!”

And then there are the stairs. I understand people may forget things as they’re leaving the house. Perfectly normal, right? But this super nice guy goes up and down the stairs 10 times…EVERY MORNING. Down, back up, squeak-squeak, down, back up, rinse and repeat. Not only are the stairs INCREDIBLY squeaky, they are also VERY loud. It sounds like a whole football team is jumping down the stairs. I’m not even exaggerating. As nice as he is, I’m always SO HAPPY when he finally leaves for the 10th time.

Okay, let the eye-rolling commence. I know you’re all like, “What is with this chick? She thinks SHE has problems? Unbelievable!” Okay, so it’s not a real problem, just an annoyance. But I think I might have to get back to work sooner than I thought. Interviewer: “So, what made you decide to apply for this job?” Me: “Well, my upstairs neighbor walks in circles, like, A LOT. And he goes up and down the stairs a million times a day. Maybe he’s trying to exercise, so who am I to judge? But I just needed some peace and quiet so…here I am! You guys don’t have any stairs, right?” Interviewer: “Right. Well, we’ll be in touch.”




24 thoughts on “He Goes Up, He Goes Down, He Goes All Around

  1. You are so randomly crazy it’s too good :). I must say you have no problem…we live close to the road, imagine trailers and bikes screaming like mad hecklers at 2 am…i feel like i might scream down the streets naked so they can all kill themselves from the the horrible sight of me…lol.

    You are so wicked funny!

    1. Randomly crazy, I like it! I usually write out my posts in advance but this was a last minute one that I almost deleted after I hit publish, so thanks! And yeah, I know, it’s not a real problem. I feel awful for you. But don’t talk down about yourself like that, geez! Although, it would be hilarious if you did that, lol. 😉

  2. Maybe your neighbour has a cricket that’s bugging him and all that movement you hear from his apartment is his attempt to find where the noise is coming from? 😆

  3. Hahaha – this is hilarious! Maybe your neighbor exercises a lot and that’s why he walks up and down the stairs. I’d be worried that he could hear everything I did and all the television shows, music and phone calls. Your walls and roof must be very thin 😀

    1. Yup, that’s what I’m thinking! I hardly hear voices though, so maybe it’s not THAT BAD? Maybe he just has super heavy footsteps? I kinda feel bad, I swear, I like him, he’s really nice! But yeah, I do worry he hears us too. I try not to be annoying but my boyfriend doesn’t help matters. 😉

  4. I recently moved from a house (sold it) to an apt.. I’m an awesome neighbor..quiet, clean, friendly.. now my upstairs neighbors kids stomp around like they wear lead books, and they vacuum 2-3 times a day. What? I’m trying to hold my cool but that Momma needs to teach her kids some apt manners..

  5. When I lived in a college apartment there were upstairs neighbors who always made loud noises. It always sounded like they were falling down and crashing on the floor. So our theory is that they were always drunk and weren’t good at walking while intoxicated. It got really annoying, especially late at night. As for your neighbor, I’m a pacer myself. I pace around the house whenever I’m deep in thought, so that might be what he does.

    1. Lol, not good at walking while intoxicated, sounds like a problem. 😉 Trust me, I don’t dislike the guy at all. Just every now and then, I wish I didn’t have to hear the back-and-forth-creek-squeak ALL the time. 😉

  6. I currently live in a high-rise building where the walls are thin and also NOT soundproof. I already get annoyed when our upstairs neighbor drags the chairs across the tile floor so I can’t imagine how awful it must be for you. And I lol-ed at the last part with your “interviewer.” But hey, if it gets you out of the house and away from annoying pacing neighbors…… 😉

  7. I was truly giggling reading this. I live in a horribly old building and we hear everything.. but even back in 07 when I left my ex husband and moved into my own apartment in a brand new building (I was in fact the first person to move into that building) I was amazed at how much noise there was.. and really laughed after someone moved in below me.. everytime she would take a bath in the master bedrooms bathroom you could hear the BUZZZZ and the following sounds of joy and excitment HAHAHAHA.. Thank God she didn’t do it at like 1 in the morning…

    1. I’m glad I gave you a giggle. 😉 I guess whether a building is new or old, you’re just bound to hear things. Um, I had to laugh at your description…BUZZZZ, sounds of joy and excitement, LOL! Well, I have to say, I’m not hearing any of that here! 😉

  8. Ah yes. The one and only time I lived in an apartment was about three years ago when I had moved to Georgia. Starting out, we had a county sheriff living above us. He was rarely home and when he was, he never made any sounds. Then he moved out and the idiot moved in. She would vacuum at midnight which was annoying. Then she would play her radio loud enough for half of the building to hear. The worst thing was she had a tendency to forget about her alarm on the weekends so it would wake me up at like 6am. I complained several times to the management, but they did nothing. I was so glad when we found a house and moved out.

    1. Stupid idiots moving in, ruining everything! There should be rules, right? Here our lease clearly says no noise between 10pm and 9pm, and thankfully everyone seems to listen. Who the fuck needs to vacuum at midnight? Geez. Glad you’re out of there!

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