I Can Feel My Sanity Slipping Away

Yesterday, in my super-random-post-that-wasn’t-very-popular, I mentioned that we had a cricket situation. I first heard the noise on Wednesday, but it didn’t last very long, so I ignored it, thinking it was outside. I didn’t realize “the call was coming from inside the house” until I saw it inside the AC yesterday. I tried to suck it up with the vacuum cleaner (did you know vacuums were created specifically for bug killing?) but that didn’t work. Then it was on the floor, so I tried killing it with a shoe, but you know, any sudden movement, and they’re gone. A little while later, I heard it, and noticed it was on the baseboard, so I sprayed it with Febreze. What is it with me, bugs, and Febreze? I think I managed to spray the little fucker, but it hid inside the baseboard. And you know what they say, no body, no crime.

I didn’t hear it anymore in the bedroom. But apparently, there was another one just outside the apartment, between our door and the outside door. I managed to kill that one, since there was nowhere for it to hide in that tiny space. (It almost jumped ON me. *cringes*) I thought to myself, what the fuck? Is today cricket day? Or annoy-the-hell-out-of-Lily day? Ugh, I don’t even know if these things are crickets. They jump like crickets, but the noise doesn’t sound like chirping. It’s more of a high-pitched, ongoing, squeaky wheel kind of sound. Do crickets do that too? Anyway, this morning (at 4:45 am) I heard it again, which was AWESOME. After my boyfriend went to work, I went searching for it. I wasn’t sure if it was coming from the bedroom this time, so I opened the door, and the sound was EVERYWHERE. Then again, I’ve heard it so much these past few days, that now the sound is recorded permanently inside MY BRAIN.

The noise is insanely annoying. I can feel my sanity slipping away. Yup, look at it, there it goes. Bye-bye sanity. I’ve been stalking this thing since 5 am. I’ve been to the bathroom 23 times (that’s where it sounds the loudest) but I can’t find it. Then again, right now I’m in the living room, and I can hear it loud and clear, even with the TV and the AC on. It’s like I’m surrounded. Maybe there’s more than one? Oh God, please don’t let there be more than one. Will you please help me? I can’t take this anymore. They’ve got me so worked up, I’m writing a fucking post about them. I wasn’t going to post at all today. These creatures do not deserve this blog post! *Pulls hair out* DIE, CRICKET, DIE! Whatever the fuck you are, just die! So, if you don’t hear from me for a few days, it’s because my boyfriend had to lock me up in a mental institution. I’ll miss you.



19 thoughts on “I Can Feel My Sanity Slipping Away

  1. Killing crickets inside your home is considered to be bad luck by some. I’ve always heard that, but I don’t know who the “some” are. Probably a group of crickets that learned to type. You should also consider that their chirping noise is a mating call. So that one cricket that you shot with Fabreeze, that one now feels like those guys in the Axe body spray commercials.

  2. Maybe summer = cricket season?? I think we have a resident cricket in the garage back at my house in the States because I hear it every time I go in there. Not that I go there often, usually just to get something I left in the car…… but yeah, I can only imagine how terrible it must be to have to listen to it for more than 3 minutes. :/

    1. Summer is definitely bug season. That’s the ONLY thing I like about winter, less bugs. So now I can’t wait. Ugh, it really is beyond annoying. So far I’ve been listening to it for 4 hours today. djflsgfsbirhfisa See, I’ve lost my mind. 😦

  3. Oh, just listen to Call Me Maybe a few times. That’ll make you wish the cricket WOULDN’T shut up. 😉

    But I agree, I would most likely go insane as well. But most insects are better than spiders. Those die on sight. Crickets would get freedom.

  4. Oh yes, a cricket chirping is enough to have me calling the men in white jackets (straight-jacket).. Find that little twerp and blast him good!!

    1. I know, seriously! I went out, and when I got back, there was the cricket just chillin’ on the living room floor. It took a few tries, but I squashed him good! 😉 I just hope there aren’t any others.

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